puppytoes

me me me me....

well now... just when i think i have nothing to write about, a brilliant and beautiful bloggirlfriend goes and tags me for a meme, and, well here i am...and here it is:

1. One book you your mommy has read more than once:

mommy loves reading, so whenever she finds a good and/or great book, she almost always reads it again. this habit started when she was very young, with a book called Kabumpo in Oz, by L. Frank Baum. stupid sounding book, i know, but she liked it so much as a kid she once read it 3 times in one day. can you say "shy bookworm"? yep. that was mommy.

2. One book you your mommy would want on a desert island:

Kyahgirl asked if J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Trilogy counted as "one" book, and mommy said it did, mostly because she knew that's what she'd want if she were thusly marooned (as opposed to being a "maroon" which of course, she already is.) by the way, she's read the trilogy at least 6 times. 7 if you count the time she read most of it out loud to her sister, who was recovering from having wisdom teeth pulled over a Thanksgiving vacation (back when both girls were still in college).

3. One book that made you your mommy laugh:

anyone who knows mommy knows she loves to laugh... one of the many books that has provided her with more than a few chuckles, chortles, and/or guffaws was Straight Man, by Richard Russo. and yes, she's read it twice.

4. One book that made you your mommy cry:

Pearl S. Buck's The Good Earth.

5. One book you your mommy wishes you she had written:

To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee, because mommy thinks it is one of the most perfect stories she's ever read. for the record, she adores the film version, as well.

6. One book you wish your mommy wishes had never been written:

that's a tough question, because mommy doesn't believe in censorship. so, while there are manymany books she'll never read because they are, in her opinion, disgusting/disturbing/degenerate, she would never want to deny anyone's right to... er... write them and/or read them.

7. One book I am mommy is currently reading:

it's no exaggeration to say there are about 11 books on the night stand at the moment. but the ones she's trying to rotate between are Team of Rivals (Goodwin), Wishcraft (Sher & Gottleib), The Voice of Knowledge (Ruiz), Boss Tweed (Ackerman), and A New Beginning (Abraham-Hicks)

8. One book I have mommy keeps meaning to read:

The DaVinci Code. because, dammit, she and daddy are the only people on the planet who have yet to do so.

9. One book that has changed your mommy's life:

there are actually two: Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, by Lynn Grabhorn, which provided a motivational kick in the ass for mommy, and The Mastery of Love, by don Miguel Ruiz, which mommy found to be simple, elegant, beautiful, and wise.

happy now? good. imagine my relief.

okay time for the "fun" part, tagging other folks to do this meme. normally i wouldn't do this... well, come to think of it, since i've only done one other meme and i did, in fact, tag a few folks, apparently i would. so who? first, Daddy (duh), along with Miz BoheMia, Gingajoy, Mo'a, and Pia, who is so busy writing her own book she'll probably laugh at the notion. and finally... Mom-101, who's on vacation and won't be able to do this and will probably be tagged by a billion other people, but what the hell. and, in case anyone wondered, yes, mommy was more than a little dismayed by the fact that, because someone else had already done so, she was unable to ask her NBFF to do this meme. that said, mommy completely understands that she can't keep a good friend to herself and is, therefore, in no way bitter and/or pissed off that Kyahgirl beat her to the punch and/or tag.

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.  Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."  ~Groucho Marx

2nd-hand stolen meme mommeme

know what happens when you find yourself verbally challenged and/or daddy's been out of town, which means mommy didn't watch the west wing and/or the sopranos and/or gray's anatomy, because that wouldn't have been fair to daddy, who was stuck at some boring dinner in miami because he's such a nice guy, and who knew mommy was such a sentimental maroon, so-much-so, that now, her non-viewing of aforementioned programs has cost me potentially important/extensive writing material, anyway? ...um...er...heh heh... where was i? oh yeah. know what happens when blahblahblabbityblah? i'll tell you what happens. you go over to Risible Girl's blog, and you steal a meme she borrowed from someone else, and, after you add a category or two, you fill in the blanks with answers you think mommy might give. yep, that's what you'd do. and, ya know what else? you'd do that, because that's just the kind of sneaky/lazy/i-got-nuthin'-to-write-about kind of a puppy girl you are. (or you would be, if you were me. which, in case you haven't noticed, i am.)

so here it is... let's call this another "mommeme", shall we? because i made that word up last week, and i'm really hoping it catches on. besides. it makes the following list seem like something i actually meant to do!  (by the way, i put one of these thingies [ * ] by some of the categories, because they're the ones i made up and added to the list):

I AM: a libra. and a liberal. a liberal libra.

I WANT: what i want when i want it.

I WISH: the flowers were already planted in the containers on the back deck.

*I HOPE: the sun will come out tomorrow.

*I GIVE: ...a shit about lots of stuff. very generous tips. mostly good advice.

I HATE: injustice, rude people, and brussels sprouts.

I MISS: my sister.

I FEAR: brussels sprouts.

*I LIKE: myself. and triple-grande-soy-no-whip-mochas.

*I LOVE: my life... my family... my dogs. fuzzy's good, too.

*I ADORE: my husband

*I CRAVE: chocolate. mexican food. time in Hawaii and/or Maine. my husband. and ice cream. (not necessarily in that order)

*I DREAM ABOUT: being in Hawaii (and/or Maine) with my husband eating chocolate after a great mexican dinner. and giving sophie extra greenies. (think mommy'll notice i slipped that in? after all, this is my blog.)

*I RESIST: cleaning out my closet and/or the two spare (junk) rooms. also reading and/or answering e-mails. and/or phone calls. and/or calling my mother. eating too much chocolate.

I HEAR: Max barking. because that's what he does. all. the. time.

*I SEE: the cleaning lady dusted around the junk on the desk again. what's up with that?

I WONDER: what it would be like to be a 6oo pound gorilla named fifi.

I REGRET: nothing.

I AM NOT: someone else. i am me. deal with it.

I DANCE: in the kitchen (and everywhere else, and not very well, but hey, i have fun.).

I SING: pretty funny original birthday songs (that i make up).

I CRY: but not very often.

I LAUGH: at my own jokes. and the daily show (best show on tv, hands down. tho' the office is pretty dang funny, as well). and my puppies. and often.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: on time.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: because i'm not real coordinated with my feet.

I WRITE: often, but not well. well, sometimes i write well. but not often.

I CONFUSE: myself. often.

I NEED: a pedicure. because that would be so great.

I SHOULD: go outside and plant those fucking flowers, because i really love the way the deck looks when the fucking flowers are in bloom, after they've been planted in those stupid fucking containers. i should do that. i really should.

I START: reading too many books at the same time.

I FINISH: the crossword puzzles my husband starts. because i'm just that kind of a nerd.

I TAG: anyone and everyone who wants to put themselves through this annoying frustrating self-indulgent enlightening experience, because i feel as tho' i've learned a lot about myself mommy someone today, and i bet you have, too. and isn't that what it's all about? learning about mommy sophie someone?

now, if you're thinkin' there coulda shoulda been more to this, you're probably right. but, guess what?  i'm pretty freaking tired, and, after she rumages around for a piece or two of chocolate (which she NEVER shares 'cuz she claims it's bad for me, but i think she's just bein' a selfish bitch.)...anyway, after mommy gorges herself has a cookie, she's going out to plant some of those fucking flowers (...i thought they were pansies & snap-dragons, but i guess i was wrong), which means she's sure as hell not gonna belly up to the blog with more fun and/or interesting and/or stupid tid-bits of information. so, you know... that's all she and/or we (...a.k.a. me) wrote!

"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."  ~Judith Viorst

mommeme dearest...

this is one of thos days when i'd just as soon stick a walnut up my nose than write... but now that daddy's gone and posted something pretty dang funny, i guess i have to. write that is. because, of course, i'm never putting a walnut up my nose, and i can't believe you ever wanted me to.

for lack of anything actually interesting to report, i decided it might be fun to share a few more random tidbits about mommy. i also thought it might be fun to give this soon-to-be regular segment a catchy little name, and, clever girl that i am, i've come up with one. mommeme (mah-meem). get it? it's about mommy and, in blogspeak it'll sort of be a meme-ish bit of blahblahblah. mommeme. tell your friends. let's start a club.

okay. today's mommeme theme?

really stupid and/or random shit about mommy's youth:

1. she doesn't have wisdom teeth. they just aren't there. never were.

2. one rainy day, when she was around 10, she pogo-sticked 2,222 times before stopping. why? because she was A) bored, B) wanted to "pogo" a number she'd never forget. and she never has. (it's 2,222, for chrissake, a moron would remember that) and C) a moron.

3. she won a gold fish at a birthday party for a fellow first grader, and found out, the hard way, that you don't float gardenias in a fish bowl just because it looks "pretty".

4. when she was 15, she pierced her own ears. well, actually, her girlfriend did them for her, and put in thin pieces of thread, which mommy knew were not gonna keep the holes open, so she sat in front of a mirror and worked the needle back and forth (it took a couple of hours) until the "deed" was done. armed with her new found "skill", not to mention ice cubes, a thick needle and a potato and/or a piece of cork, mommy started piercing her friends' ears, too. also, her mother's. and her sister's (the veryveryverysmart dr. terri, who fainted, but i'm not supposed to tell that part).

5. as kids, mommy and aforementioned sister were huge fans of superman comics. and archie. they also liked richie rich, but for them superman & archie ruled the day. the girls had a large collection they kept together in a wastebasket, which their mother donated to a church bazaar. these comics dated back around late 50's up through the 60's. there were several dozen comics, which, along with that stupid wastebasket, all sold for...a dime. mommy can't be sure, but some of these may (or may not) have been in that bunch, as well...

6. mommy was such a little bookworm, she once read her favorite book, kabumpo in oz, 3 times in one day. she was around 8 at the time. sometimes, she'd read it to her sister... when they got older and her sis had her wisdom teeth removed (and yes, hahaha, not only did terri get her wisdom teeth, she had all 4 removed on the same day--which was also the day before thanksgiving) mommy kept her sister company by reading from lord of the rings, another all time favorite.

7. mommy learned how to water ski when she was 7 (of course, her sister was 6, and better, because her sister was always a better athlete. but that's beside the point. mommy was 7 and that's not bad.)

8. when mommy was around 5 or 6, she and her sister got life sized dolls for christmas. life sized. mommy always thought that was pretty cool.

9. mommy and her sister could have been dancers. except for the fact that they couldn't/can't dance. their aunt, a professional ballerina in her own youth, had a dance studio, and both girls took lessons and danced their little hearts out in recitals, but they weren't very good. now they both dance in their own special way in their own respective kitchens, to the music in their heads. (and that's the way they like it.)

10. mommy and her little sister have been best friends all their lives. (of course, this last one isn't at all weird, random, and/or shitty, but i put it in because i noticed most of the other things i've listed include dr. terri, not to mention the fact that it rounds out my little mommeme rather nicely. also, i think mommy misses her sister. i could be wrong, but i don't think so. mommy loves the fact that, whenever they're together, they revert back to lots of the silliness they've shared since they were little girls. also, mommy likes to borrow her clothes. but mostly it's the acting like little girls/being silly/close sister thing...)

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." ~ Marion C. Garretty

fun facts for friday...

remember when i mentioned i was gonna make fun facts for friday a regular feature? well, here it is, friday! and here they are, fun facts! ("fun" being a relative term, mind you--related, i believe, to any one person's level of humor. in other words, if these aren't "fun" enough for you, f*ck you i apologize, but, as far as i'm concerned, they're mildly entertaining a veritable laugh riot!) today's topic:

6 things you really don't need to know... about mommy (but may find humorous, depending on your relative level of humor--see how i brought that concept through a short, but full circle? isn't that hilarious? if you said "no"... stop reading now, because none of the following will amuse you, either...):

1. mommy is on the cover of her high school year book. mommy was photographed leaning against a tree, in all her bouffant-hair-cheerleader-sweater/skirt/sneakers glory, along with her letterman-jacketed-plaid-pants-long-side-burns-class-valedictorian boyfriend. tres ghic.

2. for no earthly reason, mommy accidentally happened upon knotts landing on the soap network last summer, and wound up watching the last five seasons over the course of a few months. mommy doesn't watch soap operas, ever, and is ashamed that she got so hooked on this silliness. (altho' she did think there was some interesting production value in the show, and, based on some of the plot lines, she honestly believes knotts was a bit ahead of its time. of course, she realizes this is merely her way of rationalizing her obsessive behavior, something she needed to do because, when the show first aired, she actually used to make fun of it.) by the way? daddy doesn't know about this, so mum's the word.

3. mommy and her sister (the veryverysmart dr. terri) once missed winning $17,000 by one quarter. you can read the whole sordid tale here, if you'd like, but only if you're interested in seeing how pathetic mommy (and her sister) can be on any given gambling trip. (tho', i'm guessing the line "mommy and her sister missed winning $17,000 by one quarter" is a dead give-away)

4. speaking of mommy & her sister... they once drove from visalia (in central california) to san diego in order to see tom selleck (their pretend boyfriend at the time) play volleyball with the olympic volleyball team. the trip took nearly 9 hours, because they did it over a holiday weekend (easter, actually!). at the time, one of mommy's best friends lived in san diego, but, since they didn't have an extra ticket, mommy didn't call her.  and her friend would never have known about that trip if mommy & her sister hadn't talked to a reporter covering the event for the local newspaper, who then ended the article she wrote by quoting mommy's response to the question "why would you girls go to such lengths to get down here?", which was: "...to make our eyes happy." naturally, mommy's friend read the article, and hasn't spoken to mommy since.

5. mommy was on the Gong Show. [there's ever-so-much-much more to divulge about this one... but, for the sake of brevity, i'm gonna save those details for another day/post. suffice it to say, the story ends with "...by the time mommy started making out with chuck barris, she had such bad gas she had to make an excuse to leave. needless-to-say, she never heard from him again".]

6. when mommy was around 5, she stuck a bobbie pin in an electrical socket... and, yes, mommy thinks this explains everything.

now, since i decided last week to make "fun facts for friday" a regular "feature", i'm sure you can imagine my surprise/delight/dismay to have been tagged by one of mommy's favorite bloggirlfriends, GingaJoy... to write a meme on 6 things you didn't need to know about me. surprise, because, it came as a surprise (duh) and now, hopefully, a surprise for those of you who didn't realize you were reading another meme; delight, because this hasn't exactly been a great "content" week for me, if ya catch my drift (and, i'm guessing if you've read even one of my stupid posts, you do), so i was delighted to have something to write about; and dismay, because after she tagged me, i read GingaJoy's post and it was so hilarious i felt completely and utterly intimidated! but then i decided what the f*ck heck, i'll go for it, anyway. which, as you now know, is exactly what i did. and may i just say, for the record, how relieved i am to be done? now i'm pretty sure it's time for someone else to experience this f*cking lack of creative writing pain fun! therefore, and without further ado, tag...you're it:

Sar, girlfriend, you're off the hook this time, but only because you're on vacation... otherwise, you'd be so tagged! the following 6 (count 'em six) folks only wish they were so lucky...

Bobo Banjoey (your turn, daddy!)

Miz BoheMia (because we can never know enough about your fabulous/gorgeous little self!)

Karen (we know your politics, girlfriend, but not much else!)

Tan Lucy Pez (you were so dang cute in that "nashville video" -- what other talents are you hiding?)

Peg (what deep dark secrets can we learn about schnoodlepooh?)

Risible Girl (just what you wanted, right? another reason to expose more about yourself!)

CJ (so sweet, so fresh, so young. here's your chance to tell us if you've ever spit in anyone's latte--tee hee!)

the good news for you all is that, thanks to me, the humor bar has been set pretty low... so have at it, kids, and let the laughs fall where they may!

"I'm a whore for the laughs! but i'm not necessarily a crowd pleaser." ~ Sarah Silverman