i don't know about you, but i am freakin' counting down the days until the new american idol is crowned. somehow i've saddled myself with the task of writing about it every week, and i am just OCD enough to have to continue through to the bitter end finale. oy.
where to begin? honestly, mommy thought last night's show was better than it has been in the past few weeks--no unnecessary superdupercelebrities to coach and/or distract the budding artists from the task at hand. still, according to mommy, the show was maybe not as good as it should have been, considering the fact that we're down to 5 (count 'em five) contestants. but it was better. and, in mommy's book, that is saying something.
viewers were treated with no fewer than 2 performances by each contestant, which meant either twice the blech or twice the bravo, 
depending on who ya ask. alas, i have only mommy and daddy. stand back now, 'cuz a lot of shit is gonna fly, and i wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. oh, and speaking of getting hurt, it made mommy's head hurt to try and keep track of the "criteria" for song choice last night, which was 1 song from their respective year of birth and 1 current chart topper. so, you know, that was confusing for mommy's fragile little brain.
1. elliott: hmmmm. first song was okay. second song, a michael buble hit, kind of... bubluh.
2. paris: mommy finally figured out what it is about you that bugs her. it's the fact that you talk like a 4 year old and sing like a dead jazz performer. you're kind of the jim nabors (aka: gomer pyle) of this competition, aren't ya? still, mommy didn't think you sucked. that said, she does think you'll be in the bottom 2.
3. chris: oh mama!
4. katharine: your 1st song was a little "eh"... but mommy really liked that second song, and thinks if you survive another week, you should consider keeping your shoes off and your ass on the floor. that way you'll seem more grounded and less like a toothy miss california camera whore.
5. taylor: funky white boy, indeed! nice ray charles touch with the beatles tune... mommy thinks you're great when you focus less on that fucking camera and more on your vocal stylings... with the most interesting voice, you're at your best when you surrender to your own groove.
bottom line? mommy thinks elliott and paris should be in the bottom 2, but she just heard on headline news that dialidol.com (a website that tracks the calls/votes) says paris and katharine had the fewest busy signals (hence the least amount of calls/votes), which means they will probably be in the bottom 2. if all that means the pathetic folks who watch this crap world gets to bid paris au revoir tonight, mommy will be happy. (she really thinks katharine earned the right to stick around for at least another week.)
i'd like to mention that mommy and daddy made a point of watching american idol last night, after poorpoor daddy got home from his quick 
trip to atlanta. that's right, kids, that's the kind of sacrifice my people will make for me. daddy didn't get back until after 10, but, like the good boy he is, he sat on the couch with mommy, ate his peanut butter 'n jelly sandwiches (does mommy know how to spoil him, or what?) and weighed in on the performances. all that so i'd be able to write this. because, i'm just OCD enough to have to write about that stupid fucking show every wednesday/thursday, and they're just fucking stupid enough to accomodate my need for new material. that, or their own OCD won't allow them not to watch. whatever. either way, i win. and, in the end, that's all that really matters, right?
"I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves!... HEY! What time is it??? MY TV show is on!" ~ Bill Watterson (Calvin & Hobbes)
