puppytoes

Happy Mother's Day

~Message from the 2 Boys~

To the best Mother 2 guys could have. We may be pains in the ass, but remember -- we'll always be YOUR pains in the ass. Happy Mother's Day!!

                                                            ~Love, Your Sons

Ain't Motherhood grand? Indeed, it is! Happy Happy, Joy Joy!

be happy

oh we've had quite the fun around here over the past few days... a trip up north with mommy & daddy, a birthday celebration, lots and lots and lots of stuff. too much for me to talk about, really. but i'm thinking mommy may make some mention of the festivities over on DADDY'S blog... eventually (if not today then by tomorrow, for sure). you can always check it out, and if you don't like what you read, blame mommy. i'm too busy being happy to be bothered with complaints about her blathering (or lack thereof).

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and  think.  Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.  ~A.A. Milne~

birthday boy

HAPPY HAPPY, JOY JOY!!

today is my DADDY'S birthday!!

i don't know what that means, exactly, but i think it involves stuff like balloons, presents, flowers , and cake. and where there's cake, there's me. and in the end, it's all about me, right?

okay, so maybe it's all about Daddy, but a girl can dream, can't she? of course she can. that's what Mommy did when she used to imagine her perfect mate, and look at who she wound up with! her perfect --not to mention dreamy--mate!

for Mommy, the sweetest part of celebrating Daddy's birthday is that is was on this very day, 22 years ago, that Mommy realized she was in love with him. or maybe it was lust. no, it was love. okay, it was love and lust. anyway, during a gathering of co-workers assembled in a noisy bar (in Fresno, CA, no less) in order to drink to the Birthday Boy's health, Mommy somehow managed to get his attention. okay, maybe she managed to monopolize all his time. she was grateful for the fact that he didn't partake of the drinkfest in his honor. he seemed grateful for the fact that she didn't insist on dancing. whatever it was that drew them together, they found themselves spending the evening in a quiet(ish) corner talking and talking and talking. it was at that time, Mommy believes, that seeds of a lifetime of love and joy were planted. Mommy just liked him. and she found herself wondering what it would be like to taste his perfectly sensuous lips (hence that "lust" thing). of course, i'm here to report she didn't get to find out that night, but it wasn't long before she did. and the rest, as they say, is history (her's, too). by the way, their penchant for avoiding crowds and/or parties at all costs has continued to this day. Mommy and Daddy tend to keep to themselves on special occasions because, dammit, that's just how they are.

now, for any of you wondering what in the hell to give my sweet and most adored Daddy, fear not! i believe the perfect gift can be found, HERE. that's right, this isn't just a means for wishing Daddy Happy Birthday, it's a means for shamelessly promoting him in this week's caption contest! besides, a vote for Daddy may well ensure another year of happiness in our humble abode. so do us all a favor and get over there and vote! it's free, and it will make him so happy! i mean, i think all Mommy has in store for him is a crummy TGSNWM, and then, if i know mommy, and i believe i do, she'll fashion together another of her traditional-yet lame-yet-very-cheesy (and by "lame-yet-cheesy" i mean "ugly-yet-tacky") birthday cakes later in the day. what can i say, tradition is something mommy holds dear.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY & RABBIT, RABBIT DADDY! even tho' Mommy's about as lame as they come, she loves you with all her heart and is grateful for every day she's had you in her life. and it goes without saying, Bobo and i are, too. (Max is on his own here, and don't even get me started on that cat!) and may this be but one in a lifetime filled with "best days"! of course, as long as i'm in the picture (and i am) how can it miss?

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday." ~ Steven Wright

5 hours

this is the post i originally wrote about that lovely--albeit brief--road trip mommy & daddy took last week. because i'm nothing, if not lazy, i decided to use it anyway, in lieu of writing something new. by the way, if you didn't like the pictures i posted on Saturday, there's a good chance you won't like the ones i'm using today. that's right, some of the shots you're about to see are the same! why? because it was too much stinkin' trouble to take 'em out in order to put in new ones. (what about "i'm nothing, if not lazy" did you not get?)

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

Mommy and Daddy don't get out much. perhaps i've mentioned this in the past, but it bears repeating. they don't get out much. oh, they used to... a long time ago... BS&B (Before Sopie & Bobo). sometimes they'd take trips to Maine, sometimes to Florida, California, Hawaii, Massachussetts, and once, Costa Rica. heck, i've even heard tell they used to enjoy long leisurely stays in Bermuda. such trendy jet-setters. but, as i said, that was before i came to live here. and long before Bobo did, too.

so it almost cute watching them gather up their camera, various maps, and bottles of water as they headed out to the garage, in order to take a short, but well-deserved trip away from the good-old homestead. they had decided the night before to take a drive up the Connecticut coast in hopes of locating a nice spot for a romantic sojourn in the future.  despite some traffic on Interstate 95, after an hour and 37 minutes, they found their way up to scenic Old Saybrook, a lovely little town, or so they said. they were nearly giddy as they ventured out of the car in order to drink in the sea air and read up on local lore.

whipping out their trusty camera, they quickly took a few pictures of the sights they beheld, which apparently included the rear end of a boat bearing the name of a favored bloggirlfriend.

then daddy did the unthinkable. he distracted mommy and faster'n you can say "yeesh-ka-bob!" he managed to snap her picture!

"d'oh!" said mommy. "what the hell are you doing?"

"hold still!" said daddy... but mommy would have none of it. "forget taking my picture", said mommy. "look! water! and lots of it!"

later, mommy grabbed the camera from daddy, figuring she'd be able to snap his picture by surprise a little further down the walk. sadly, mommy's not very good at snapping pictures by surprise.

after blowing a couple of chances (and what were those birds and that fisherman doing distracting mommy like that anyway?) mommy thought she'd be able to sneak a shot of daddy in the middle of lunch.

apparently mommy's as easily distracted by a hefty tuna melt as she is by shiny objects and/or pretty birds. tsk tsk. daddy, on the other hand, does not suffer from the same affliction, and managed to catch mommy mid-bite into a yummy sandwich of grilled veggies on focaccia. oh well. mommy said it was delicious. messy, but delicious.







after their mouths were suitably happy, mommy took one more picture of the charming downtown area, in case they didn't make it back up there anytime soon (have i mentioned they don't get out much?)

finally, after spending roughly 2 hours wandering the streets, eating the fare, and dodging the easily distracted mommy with her camera, daddy climbed into the car and said "let's go!"

an hour and 23 minutes later, they were home again. safe and sound. right where they belong. and, you know what? since they had such a nice time, Bobo and i have decided that, if they're reallyreally good, we might just let them take another trip again in the future. because that's just the kind of loving pups we are.

"Laughter is an instant vacation."  ~Milton Berle

oh what? you're pissed upset because i didn't show you a whole picture of mommy? geez, there's no satisfying you people, is there? fine. here's a picture of mommy in the midst of saying something that may--or may not--have contained curse words.

saturday

today my people took a nice long drive up the Connecticut coast. and, since they actually remembered to take along their camera, they actually took a few pictures. i'm not in the mood to talk about them right now, since this trip was sans moi, but i'll share a couple of the pictures, just to appease any of you curious about what the central coastline of Connecticut and/or mommy & daddy look like. enjoy. oh, and there's one picture in this bunch that was shot specifically for a certain ailing bloggirlfriend of mommy & daddy's, they hoped it would put a smile on her face. personally, i think she'd be more inclined to smile if she were actually sitting in that boat, instead of looking at a picture of it, but that's just me.

what? you didn't think i was gonna show you any full face pictures here, did you? hell no. i plan to save that for an actual post. not this cheap imitation of one.

"I hate water - fish fuck in it."  ~W.C. Fields

21 Years

You might think a handsome, successful young man, upon first setting eyes on a woman 6 months pregnant with her second child would think to himself, "How nice. She's pregnant, and has a small child at home. Yeesh! Am I glad I'm not her husband!" but you would be wrong. well, at first, that probably is what he thought. but later, after the baby was born, after that woman had managed to break free of her unhappy marriage, moved out and on with her two small kids and her life? that's a whole different story. still, you'd think a charming, handsome, single, very successful man would take one look at such a woman and run as fast as his charming, athletic legs could take him in the opposite direction. but you would be wrong, again.

how does a wonderful, charming, handsome, very successful, very funny, very loving man like DADDY wind up with someone like mommy? beats me. but somehow he did, and, from what i can gather by the frequent phone calls throughout each and every day, the flowers that often find their way into our house via mommy's favorite florist, the laughing/kissing/holding-of-hands they do all the time, the deep respect they clearly have for each other--along with a passion for Mexican food, triple-grande-soy-no-whip-mochas, and, of course, adorable puppies--mommy & daddy share a bond that cannnot be broken by errant child and/or Dodger losing streak. true love. imagine that.

"Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day." ~ Gene Perret

guest who?

pimping bragging sharing things about myself has always been a problem for me... pimping bragging sharing things about my daddy? not so much. so today it's all about daddy. and by that, i mean the beautiful and thought-provoking post he wrote for BELLE OF THE BRAWL today. in other words, no point hanging around here, nothing to see but a... ack! what am i saying?? nothing to see? nothing??? what about me?? what am i, chopped liver?? why does daddy have to get all the attention ALL of the time?? aren't i cute? aren't i sweet?? shouldn't i be the one gettin... oops. heh heh. just kidding. of course daddy deserves the attention, and when you read his wonderful post, you'll know why!!

if it sounds as though i'm proud of daddy, it's because i am. i'm also sorry i didn't get this post up a bit sooner in order to brag share his great accomplishment (he's really really shy, so trust me, this was a big step for him). i honestly don't know what happened. i know i meant to do something earlier, but i uh... er... um...was jealous kind of forgot got my nails done spent too much time on the phone took a nap have been busy over HERE pimping him bragging telling a few close friends about his latest claim to fame. you do believe me, don't you? ...think daddy will?

Mystery Woman: "You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me."

Jake: "No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!"

~ from Blues Brothers

new phone

i keep thinking i'll do a new post, but then i don't. i don't know why i don't, i just don't. maybe it's because i'm spending too much time reading everyone else's blogs and/or hanging out HERE. maybe it's because i've been spending too much time taking naps and/or frolicking in the front yard (it's hot, but we frolic, oh how we frolic. and then, i nap). and maybe it's because i've been spending too much time and/or having too much fun watching mommy (bespeckled in Poindexteresque reading glasses, no less) try to program/learn how to use her fancy-schmancy new cell phone, a Samsung SCH-a930 with picture/movies and/or text messaging/internet access/speaker phone/voice activated calling/kitchen sink/shoe horn/E-911 capability/and Bluetooth Wireless Technology. doesn't that all sound special? i'm sure it does, but what difference does it make if you have no idea how to use these things?

so many bells and/or whistles. so little time in which to learn how to use 'em all. can you hear me now? no? sigh. maybe you would, if mommy could just figure out how to turn her stupid fancy-schmancy cell phone on. (of course, when you have to press the "end" button in order to do that, is it any wonder she gets confused?)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10, 000 ways that won't work." ~ Thomas Edison

weekend update...

did i just say "weekend update"? ha! what a joke... i mean, if something interesting was actually going on around here i suppose that header would apply, but alas, no such luck. thus far, this weekend appears to be heading out on the same track to "yawnsville" we find ourselves on every other weekend.

the most exciting thing to happen occurred yesterday, and came in the form of "laundry". sort of. but in order to adequately explain, i need to provide a little background:

one of the programs mommy & daddy have been enjoying in recent weeks is called "big love", which is, apparently, about the life and times of a polygamist, his 3 wives, 7 children, and bizarre extended family. yes, i said "bizarre", for, it seems, despite the fact that this particular character (as played by bill paxton) has more than one wife, he's surprisingly "normal". in fact, every member of his "nuclear" family is. go figure.

anyway, i'm not going to tell you all about the show, because i'm sick of talking about TV. however, there was one mildly amusing scene this past week, which caused mommy to chuckle, even as she shook her head and said "how stupid is that?". apparently, the youngest wife, whom we shall call "margene" (because that's her name), was "assigned" to wash her husband's "whites" for an upcoming baptism. well, unbeknownst to "margene", her baby had managed to toss a red crayon into the pile of clean wet clothes as they were being stuffed into the dryer. fast forward to the next scene, and "margene" is distraught to discover that, not only were the clothes streaked with red wax, but the inside of her dryer was, as well. so "margene" races across the street to ask her neighbor what to do.  "two words", her neighbor says, "goo gone". so "margene" races to the store, scoops up a bottle of "goo gone", races home, and sprays the entire contents into her dryer. blah blah blah... funny stuff happens, the dryer is a mess, and, eventually, evil/misguided/misunderstood 2nd wife "nicky" rolls the dryer out of "margene's" house, shaking her head in disgust at the latest, in a series of, unfortunate "margene" mistakes.

now fast fast forward to yesterday: mommy's doing a load of whites when, to her dismay, she discovers boy #2 had left gum in a pocket, which had then melted all over the inside of the dryer. flashing on that stupid "margene" moment of "big love", mommy races for the "goo gone", sprays a little inside, and hopes to god she can get this shit cleaned up quickly, as she has about 19 more loads of laundry to do. according to "goo gone" directions, you must "wipe" the gooey mess you're trying to clean up with a white cloth (why? i guess so you can see that you've gotten the gooey mess off the surface you're cleaning and onto that white cloth. perhaps gooey messes don't show up on colored rags. how the hell should i know?). mommy sorted through her rags until she found a white one, which she used to wipe up the goo. which was, indeed, "going going gone" from the inside of the dryer. then she used another white cloth to wash out the inside of the dryer with soap and water. which made another mess. so she used white paper towels to rinse out that mess, and another hand full to dry up that mess. then she put in a 3rd clean white rag into the dryer and turned it on, in order to soak up any and all "goo gone" and/or gooey mess and/or soap and/or water. mommy hates cleaning. needless to say, this was not a fun task for her, tho' she was pleased by the fact that there are no more gooey messes and/or soap and/or water and/or "goo gone" in her dryer. unfortunately, all this cleaning left mommy too exhausted to finish the actual laundry. mommy doesn't care. she thinks anyone stupid thoughtless forgetful enough to leave gum in a pocket deserves might have to wear dirty/stinky slightly soiled clothes for a day or so.  okay, she doesn't really think that, but she's not ready to shift back into tedious "fluff 'n fold" mode any time soon. basically, mommy's just lazy, and is, in fact, ever hopeful someone, anyone, will someday come up with a product called "laundry gone". or is that what trash cans are for?

hmmmm...did i say this weekend was headed towards "yawnsville"? apparently that was a lie from the pits of hell, because i just realized we live there! that said, bobo, max & i did have a wee bit o' fun frolicking fesitvely in the front yard this morning, as evidenced by the following pictures, but, trust me, as far as i can tell, that's as good as it's gonna get:

my advice to you? run! run! as if your very life depended upon your ability to flee the rapidly declining energy of this blog. run! before it has you firmly within it's boring/lethargic clutches, from which there will be no escape! run! before you get hit with a massive dose of "energy gone". run! i tell you, run! unless, of course, you like to be bored and/or lazy, in which case, have a seat. the group nap begins in about 5 minutes.

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't." ~ Dagwood Bumstead

sick of it all...

no one is more sympathetic than me. really. especially when the person requiring aforementioned sympathy is mommy. that said, i'm forever happy she's finally on the mend -- because that means life will finally--gloriously!-- return to some semblance of normalcy. mind you, in this house that's not saying a hell of a lot, but still...

now, if i know you, and i think i do, i'm sure you've been wondering what a sweet little puppy girl, such as myself, does when her mommy is reduced to a pathetic mass of coughing aching play-doh, right? well, here it is: i sit with her, and follow her from bed to couch to bathroom to bed to kitchen to couch, watch her sleep, take naps, and, when possible, try to make the most out of a pissy/hideously boring situation. naturally, i also spend a shitload of time watching everything/everyone around me. mommy, the boys, my treats, max, bobo, and all the crappy stuff mommy watches on tv when she's not sleeping. thus far, here's what i've learned:

1. mommy is not teribly attractive when she's sick. oh, daddy seems to think she's cute, but, for the life of me, i can't imagine why.  maybe daddy needs new glasses.

2. speaking of glasses... mommy's got new contact lenses, which means she can see distant things ever so much better, but now everything up close is a fucking blur. this does not make mommy happy. not one little bit. especially since she now has to wear reading glasses just to see the computer screen and/or keyboard.  mommy says this is one of the most fucking insidious aspects of growing older, and i believe her! (who else am i gonna believe? you? i think not... for all i know, you have perfect vision and wouldn't know a pair of reading glasses if they smacked you in the face, which is what happens on a regular basis these days to mommy, what with that new prescription for her contact lenses, and all...)

3. bette davis made a lot of bad movies in her youth. okay, maybe not american pie 2 bad, but seriously not good. mommy loves old movies, she really does. so she watched a lot of stuff on TCM, while laying around on the couch. but not all "old" movies were created equal, and, apparently, bette davis had to star in many of the truly rank ones. of course, maybe we just saw a bunch of her bad films because TCM is paying tribute to her all this month, but it doesn't matter. some of the very early films that featured bette davis totally sucked ass. (most of the really bad ones were made when she was blonde, if that matters, which, of course, it does not.)

4. speaking of old, bad movies, alan hale (aka "skipper" in gilligan's island) was in every old, bad movie ever made. or at least the ones we watched this week. who knew?

5. daddy's romantic ways always manage to improve mommy's most foul of moods. no more was this fact apparent than yesterday, when, on top of the lovely flowers 'n stuff daddy gave her for mother's day, a box, addressed to mommy & marked with "m&m" arrived, which, when opened, yielded several lovely packets of blue and yellow m&m's with "I Love Neva" imprinted on each and every piece of candy. is that romantic, or what? my question is this: will daddy still love mommy after she's polished off these packages of yummy treats? stay tuned, at the rate she's going, we should have the answer fairly soon!

6. max barks non-stop. day-in and day-out. it wears on one's nerves...

7. laundry does not do itself.

8. as long as there are 3 dogs, 2 big boys, and 1 old cat in this house, mommy's not allowed to sit and/or lay still for more than 48.4 seconds before someone needs something. as far as i can tell, this is the law.

9. daddy's "tussin" doesn't get mommy high and/or help her sleep. much to mommy's chagrin and/or disappointment.

10. the phone rings a lot more when mommy's voice is veryvery hoarse. like it knows she can't talk. it's almost frightening. but, mostly? it's just plain hilarious. not only that, but when mommy is at her absolute worst (looking and sounding), people requiring attention always come to the door in rapid succession, and mommy is always the only one around to A) answer the door, B) attend to these various individuals C) scare the shit out of them because she looks and sounds just that bad. (naturally, this is also hilarious!)

11. max barks all the time. day-in and day-out. i know i've said this before, but, trust me, it bears repeating, because it's just that fucking annoying.

so, there you have it. everything i managed to glean (and can recall) after hanging around and/or observing 4 long, boring days in the life of the very sick, very pathetic mommy, in all her flu-ridden misery. as you no doubt suspected, it's been a veritable roller coaster of non-stop mucus-hacking, head-and/or-body-aching, sleep-deprived fun! and yet... in spite of it all, she not only managed to get better, but lives to hack through another day. not sure we'll be able to say the same of max if he doesn't start barking up a different.... something. hmmmm. ya know? i had a clever ending for that line, but, what with the barking and the phone and the people at the door and the fact that i find all this sublimely boring, it just flu flew out of what's left of my mind. how's that for a mysterious non-hilarious-post-ending pisser?

"If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem.  Everything else is inconvenience."  ~Robert Fulghum