puppytoes

fun facts?

you want fun facts? i got yer fun facts right here, buddy. know what to write about when the sun is shining gloriously and spring is in full bloom? i'll tell ya. nothing! that's right, NOTHING! it's not that i'm not inspired, mind you, it's just that i'm much more interested in spending time out doors than agonizing over a few well chosen worms for the purposes of creating another post. i hope you understand. i really do. if you're bored, here's a little "easy" (a term i use loosely) listening for ya, as you're whiling away the hours on your own bad pc. as for me? i'm already out the door. [warning: if you love music, you might want to keep the volume down]

wing: this woman was featured on an especially funny episode of south park last season. mommy & daddy (and the boy, for that matter) thought "wing" was a made up character.  turns out, she was not. in fact, wing played herself in that episode, which, coincidentally, was about american idol. (heck, wing would probably do pretty freaking well in the show this year, come to think of it!)  here's how she introduces herself on her website:

"Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along. I released my first CD Phantom Of The Opera and got a grant from the Manukau City Council for promotion. Then I released I Could Have Danced All Night and The Sound Of Music. My latest CDs are called "Wing Sings AC/DC", "Dancing Queen by Wing" and "Beatles Classics by Wing". I have worked hard and I hope you have all found I am improving. Thank you for all who supporst me helping me very much as I go along. Thank you!" ~ Wing

mommy highly recommends "i wanna hold your hand".

horrible chinese singer: this says it all. watch the whole thing. because it's just that bad/funny. (by the way, i stole this from sweetney.com, who is always an excellent source for great/unique links and wonderfully witty writing.)

of course, i'd like to be perfectly clear about something right here and right now. i do not condone making fun of people. and, normally i wouldn't. but... the sun! the sun is shining outside, and spring is in all its glory and, well, linking to horrible-awful-terrible-no-good-very-bad and, dare it say it? (i dare! i dare!) chitty performers beats a sharp stick in the eye, right? besides... these two self-proclaimed vocal stylists actually make this year's unremarkable (with few exceptions) batch of idol contestants look and/or sound super fantasticamazing. so, i'm thinkin' that's gotta be good for something. (but then, i'm just a puppy. what the hell do i know?)

"Yet, what are all such gaieties to me whose thoughts are full of indices and surds?" ~ Lewis Carroll

"semi-plagerized" friday fun...

okay, so check it out. i'm wracking my brains, trying to come up with something to share with you all today...and, after running around outside for a bit (since i believe that exercise = improved circulation = a smarter me!) i decided to come back in and stand on my head, in hopes the blood would rush in and fill my brain cells with an endless supply of grade-A noteworthy ideas. so, there i am, head on the floor, feet in the air, waiting for my mind to become awash with meaty topics and/or clever worms, when i realize i can just barely reach the computer keyboard. "cool" i think to myself, and i start clicking through a few of the blogs mommy likes to read. suddenly! i peruse something so lovely, so special...and so doggone romantic, i am compelled to share it.

and, fear not, good friends, for i am not side-stepping my bloggy duties, either (in case ya wondered) since, technically, this particular post qualifies in the "fun facts for friday" category, as you'll soon see. oh, maybe i didn't, technically, write these facts, per se, but, since they apply to my family, i'm pretty sure i can technically take credit for them (because that's just how i think and/or what i'm about to do!).

enjoy...i know i did!  (oh, and when you've finished, for godssake, don't hate mommy because she's married to someone like daddy... trust me, she knows she's a lucky lucky girl! and, besides, why would you hate her, anyway? huh? i mean, she wants you to be happy... can't you be glad she's happy, too?  what's up with that? since when is it wron.... wait...am i'm having another conversation with myself?  are you already over at daddy's blog? ...did you leave without saying "goodbye"? will you ever come back?)

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware."  ~ Henry Miller

gtofsy? s;trsfu?

it must be friday...because i can't type. (how are these two things related? i have no idea... but after tapping out that heading...i'm thinking these two things must have something in common. please agree, 'cuz i'd hate to think i've suddenly forgotten how to type!)

actually, mommy and i are fighting over control of the computer right now... she thinks she should be paying the bills. i say who are all these guys named bill, and what are we paying them to do? (mommy didn't laugh, either.)

of course, as you can see, i did manage to wrangle the keyboard away from her, but for how long is anyone's guess. hopefully, it'll be enough time to do what i need to do. and, what's that, you say? glad you asked, i say! i need/want/feel compelled to announce my intention to start sharing the wealth of information at mommy's fingertips in the form of a regular friday feature. (and why should'nt i? daddy has his friday 5 spot, for cryin' out loud! (which is totally awesome, by the way). now get off my case, rubber face, and let me finish my thought before mommy comes back and rips this keyboard from my fragile little fingers paws fingers...).

to continue...in light of A) my post 2 days ago (episode of house/vaginal ticks/ewwwww) B) a certain section of a certain book written by a certain mommy's sister (the veryverysmart dr. terri) and, C) aforementioned sister's remark that "hey, maybe i should add "ticks" when i revise my book--if i ever do revise my book, that is...", i give you my first edition of:

FUN FACTS for a FRIDAY

today's topic (in case ya didn't read wednesday's post):

things that don't belong in--yet were fished out of--a woman's va-jayjay (as documented in actual medical literature)...

• set of false teeth
• pine cone
• rubber ball (discovered 20 years after it found it's way in there)
• shot glass
• highball glass
• flashlight bulb
• cucumber
• onion
• orange
• hard-boiled egg
• the finger of a glove
• aerosol deodorant cap
• leech
• dead mouse
• an iron-handle (from forceps used as wire-cutters)
• broken-off handle of a broom (which remained undetected for 3 months)

now, i'd like to state, for the record, that i'm not sharing this information in order to gross you out. nor do i care to provide anyone with the opportunity for extraordinarily inappropriate/salacious comments. i'm just saying--and this is important--that people are stupid (some more than others).

thus endeth the lesson.

Bebe: You guys still want to go ice skating after school?
Wendy: Oh no, that's okay, Bebe. You might trip and then we'd be sucked into your huge, gaping vagina like ants into a vacuum cleaner.

~ South Park (Animated TV series)