puppytoes

mommy's singin' the blues...

and she sounds a lot like janis joplin. apparently this has been kind of a frustrating day with regards to boy #2. not bad... just mildly frustrating. (what else is new?) anyway, as she is wont to do, mommy made up a stupid poem/song to help her feel better. and, since i have nothing worthwhile to write about, i've decided to make fun of mommy share it with you. (isn't that special?) of course, if you're not familiar with "mercedes benz", the joplin tune this ditty is set to, it's gonna seem lame. but then, it's gonna seem lame even if you do know the song! (i think that's called a lose-lose situation) that said, guess what? i don't give a shit it doesn't matter. after all, it's not my ass on the line here. and, believe it or not, mommy can take care of herself. (eventually.)

mommy's pathetic parental ditty

oh lord, won't ya buy me a lock for my door? to keep my son out, 'cuz i can't take no more. i'm pissed at my kid, makes me swear like a whore... oh lord, won't ya buy me a lock for my door?

oh lord, won't ya buy me, a shiny new brain? my boy drives me crazy, i might be insane. put it in a box, make the wrap paper plain... oh lord, won't ya buy me, a shiny new brain?

oh lord, won't ya buy me, a smile for my face? i know i once had one, it must be misplaced. to stay in a bad mood seems like such a waste... oh lord, won't ya buy me, a smile for my face?

and lord, while you're at it, look in on my son. and help me remember he's often quite fun. despite all the trouble, he's second to none. so lord, do (me) a favor, look in on my son.

hey lord, if you're listenin', i also should say... i do pretty good, lord, on any given day. but right at the moment, my nerves are so frayed... enough, lord, with the lemons, i want lemonade!

that's right, kids. this is the best mommy can do for herself on a day like today. i've said it before, but it bears repeating: pity her. she needs it. (we all do.)

** of course, the second i finished dutifully taking down the words to this stupid ditty, boy #1 showed up with a grande-soy-no-whip-mocha... which made mommy veryvery happy. go figure.

"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home." ~ Robert Orben

birthday boy #2

ah... hear that? the sweet sweet sound of robin redbreast? singing her song of spring? no?? me neither. oh that robin's out there all right, but it's so freakin' cold outside she's huddled under those left-over leaves by the wood pile in the back yard. poor poor robin redbreast. thinkin' it's spring and finding out, instead, that that bitch, mother nature, is playing yet another, in a series of, cruel cruel pranks on the innocent woodland creatures. if i were you, robin, i'd make like the bird you are and get the flock outta here! (at least until it warms up a bit)

in other, more important news...today boy #2 turns 22. mommy's a little depressed, because all she can think about is the fact that her "baby" is now 22. that's allegedly 154 in dog years... which means nothing, except for the fact that it makes mommy feel even older than she did 2 minutes ago when she was thinking of him in terms of people years. yep, she feels old like a person should feel when they have 2 grown children, ages 25 and 22 respectively. but then, the 2 grown children in question still live at home, so, technically, they're not grown up, right? and, boy #2--unlike boy #1--is totally into the whole balloonie/birthday cake/presents-lots-of-presents thing, so mommy can still have fun creating a "festive" atmosphere. which means, of course, another cheesy birthday cake is in the works, which means mommy's head will start hurting again, which means she's gonna get even more depressed. stupid boy. having another birthday and depressing mommy.

actually, mommy may wind up with a little cake decorating inspiration, since the boy's "big" gift this year comes in the form of a little body artwork, courtesy of this place... cool/disturbing/interesting, huh? actually, it probably will be. unless he gets something like this... (but of course he won't. not if he wants to keep living in this house and/or keep his toes intact.)

with so much going on, i confess it's really too dang distracting around here for me to think straight, let alone try to craft a coherent post... so i'll check back in later with better birthday updates (unless i don't--i do have a life outside of this blog, people. a life that includes naps and treats and barking at that whiney sissiedog max!) still, i'm sure any and all ensuing festivities will make for a ridiculous stupid interesting riveting read, tho', no doubt, a silly one, as well. somebody once said they don't stay puppies long, but mommy and daddy know this sentiment does not apply to boy #2! seriously, he may be 22, folks, but in ADD years i'm guessing that's around 15.

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." ~ Author Unknown