puppytoes

diary of a mad frustrated puppy...

*UPDATE: dear diary, perhaps you were unaware of this, but some people manage to be creative, even when words fail 'em... check out what Shayna did for me HERE!! you can't tell, but i'm blushing. i'd like to THANK Shayna for such a wonderful and lovely gesture...and, as soon as i can figure out what to say, i probably will!!

dear diary: it's finally come to this. i'm using what few ideas i have over HERE, and am left holding an empty bloggy bag on my own site. what's to become of me? how shall i cope? more importantly, how will you cope? i don't know if you know this, but without me, you are nothing more than a collection of empty pages worth little more than a hanging chad in a florida election. oh, i suppose i could learn origami, and fold some of your pages into a paper pond full of swans and tiny boxes, but without opposable thumbs, it's gonna be real hard.

now i'm not saying i'm tossing you out, diary, but on days when i've got nothin' to share, instead of writing, i'm gonna glue in a few pictures of me 'n the boys frolicking in the front yard, and see how that works out. with luck i'll be able to scrape together a few words in the near future... but, if i were you, i wouldn't hold my breath.

"God...sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it...and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better." ~ Ranier Maria Rilke

huh.

i cannot believe it's already saturday. nor can i believe i haven't written a post in 3 days. okay, i can believe it, because, well, because i've actually been trying to write something for three days... to no avail. what's up with that?

i'll tell you what. it's because i spend wa-a-a-y too much time reading and/or commenting on everyone else's blogs (see how you guys keep me from doing my bloggy job?). by the time i get back here it's either too late or i'm too pooped to pen anything worth reading. anyway, because of this travesty, today i've decided to share some of the "comments" i've left laying around on other sites, just so you can see i've not been idle in bloggerville. but, before i do that...a small announcement:

last week, kyagirl and i became veryvery frustrated when  "blogger" (that whore of a host) shut down, and left legions unable to read and/or comment on their favorite sites (and by 'legions', i mean kyahgirl and me). since many of our friends have been, in fact, ensnared in the web of buggerous bloggery known as "blogger", you can imagine our collective frustration. well, friends, we didn't want to take that shit anymore, and so we decided to do something about it! (being the proactive kind of girls we are). that's right! we've created a place for those with "comment withdrawl" to leave comments (from/for anyone's blog, or just something random) for one and all to see. we'll put up a new "post" every day, and then let any and all have at it! and, because we're "dogs", naturally we wanted to create the illusion of a fun festive frolicking time (much like i have around here on weekends in the front yard) so we went with a "park" theme. thus was born CENTRAL SNARK. (get it? like "central park"? only snarky? and without all the shit and/or muggers?)  not sure what it's gonna evolve into, but for now, it meant to be a fun place to leave a comment/take a comment and/or hang out to see what everyone else is leaving/taking. so check it out... we're of a mind to link to any and all who show up (because that's the kind of good blogging citizens we are) but that means ya have to leave at least one comment in order to hitch a ride on the side bar!

okay, now for those comments. tho', since it's saturday, a day i usually post pictures of myself, bobo, and max, i thought i might do a little "double duty" here. therefore, i give you my random comments, with pictures! yay! whee! whoopee! (this may or may not work... guess we're about to find out):

to wordsmith doug, of waking ambrose fame:

"...hooray!!! i've been trying to leave a comment ALL DAY!! of course, now that i'm finally able to do so, i realize i have nothing to say.

TROLLOP: the blogging server that stays "down" all day and prevents a lively exchange of ideas and/or quips. see also, bitch

and doug: your first clue(s) that my thesaurus is old were the words chippie, floozy and tart! ..."

for the saucy sar, aka belle of the brawl:

"...oh, and as long as there's a wee bit 'o "shameless" promotion going on (by me and kyahgirl)... may i remind everyone that a vote for logophile may mean losing unwanted pounds and/or wrinkles, but a vote for me means... um... uh... CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!(i hate to cook, but i bake a "to die for" cookie). screw the pounds, i say "happy mouths" for one and all!

sigh, i'm pathetic, right? (vote for me anyway) ; P ..."

to mommy's friend, karen, on namaste:

"...in Greek mythology, the middle finger was known as the Jupiter/Saturn Finger, which symbolized the phallus. in ancient Rome, male prostitutes would stick their middle digit into their hair to signal potential customers that they were "open for business". then, in Medieval times, the Church identified it as the Digitus Infamis or Obscenus, aka "the obscene finger" (early Christians considered it evil to wear a ring on this finger given its sexual significance)

that said... the history you gave makes perfect sense... especially if they were predisposed to think the finger was "plucking evil", in the first place!! not to mention the "YEW" part!! too funny!!

(as for the other stuff...what can i say? my sister wrote a book about penises & vaginas...)..."

mommy's note to our beloved daddy:

"...hi honey! i'm just randomly leaving comments, since it's again impossible to do so on any of the "blogger" sites we like. besides... i feel thismuchclosertoyou when i check in on your blog!

I LOVE YOU!!! xoxoxo
(is it time to come home, yet? are we gonna walk? are you even reading this? am i just typing away for no good reason at all? should i stop????) XOXOXO..."

of course, i would very much like to point out that mommy and/or i left dozens more comments on manymany sites... but for now, as well as for the sake of brevity, these shall have to suffice (oh, and to YOU, our bootilicious Miz B?...i promise i'll pop one of my comments to you up NEXT time... for there will be a next time, oh yes, there will be a next time!). now... since i know how much you all like the pictures, here are a few more to tide ya over until i'm in the mood to post again! enjoy. or not. i don't really care, as long as i don't have to write anymore. and, unless i'm mistaken (and i'm quite sure i'm not), it is all about me. (isn't it?)

had enough? golly, i sure hope so, kids! 'cuz i'm wa-a-a-y too pooped to look at anymore pictures... and, in case you haven't noticed (mommy?) it's my DINNER TIME! so... you know, i have to go! (ain't i the poet? hee hee) let's hope that bitch blogger gets its act together this week, i'm not sure i can take another day of not reading my favorite blogs! stupid blogger. i dumped you like a bad habit, because you very nearly broke my bloggy spirit. try not to do that to my friends, or, trust me, there will be hell to pay... and toes to bite!

"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?" ~ Marilyn Pittman

i'm no "doggie blogger"

despite the fact that i am, in fact, a dog, i don't actually think of myself as a "doggie blogger". the reason for this is simple: i prefer, on any given day, to address subjects not directly related to myself. this, however, is not one of those days. currently, i'm in the process of getting my hair "done" (along with bobo and max, which is something that happens every 2 or 3 weeks). this means i'm not gonna be around long enough to create any kind of meaningful and/or entertaining post. something i realize i haven't done for several days, come to think of it, but i digress. anyway, since it seems doubtful i'll be able to write anything later (a day of beauty = utter exhaustion, just ask mommy), here are a few pictures of me 'n the boys frolicking in the yard over the long weekend. i've heard a picture is worth a thousand words, so, if i've done my math properly, and i believe i have, the following "slide show" should count as one long, puptastic post!

 

again, i am not, i repeat, not a doggie blogger. not no way. not no how. except, that is, on days like today, when, of course, i am.

** by the way... daddy was selected by Sar to be one of her "caption finalists" this week... so, do me a favor, will ya? go over to Belle of the Brawl NOW. peruse all five of the captions. laugh heartily. then vote for daddy (the 3rd caption). come on... get going. don't make me come out there and bite your toes, people. because i will. oh yes... i will.

"I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks." ~ Groucho Marx

weekend update...

did i just say "weekend update"? ha! what a joke... i mean, if something interesting was actually going on around here i suppose that header would apply, but alas, no such luck. thus far, this weekend appears to be heading out on the same track to "yawnsville" we find ourselves on every other weekend.

the most exciting thing to happen occurred yesterday, and came in the form of "laundry". sort of. but in order to adequately explain, i need to provide a little background:

one of the programs mommy & daddy have been enjoying in recent weeks is called "big love", which is, apparently, about the life and times of a polygamist, his 3 wives, 7 children, and bizarre extended family. yes, i said "bizarre", for, it seems, despite the fact that this particular character (as played by bill paxton) has more than one wife, he's surprisingly "normal". in fact, every member of his "nuclear" family is. go figure.

anyway, i'm not going to tell you all about the show, because i'm sick of talking about TV. however, there was one mildly amusing scene this past week, which caused mommy to chuckle, even as she shook her head and said "how stupid is that?". apparently, the youngest wife, whom we shall call "margene" (because that's her name), was "assigned" to wash her husband's "whites" for an upcoming baptism. well, unbeknownst to "margene", her baby had managed to toss a red crayon into the pile of clean wet clothes as they were being stuffed into the dryer. fast forward to the next scene, and "margene" is distraught to discover that, not only were the clothes streaked with red wax, but the inside of her dryer was, as well. so "margene" races across the street to ask her neighbor what to do.  "two words", her neighbor says, "goo gone". so "margene" races to the store, scoops up a bottle of "goo gone", races home, and sprays the entire contents into her dryer. blah blah blah... funny stuff happens, the dryer is a mess, and, eventually, evil/misguided/misunderstood 2nd wife "nicky" rolls the dryer out of "margene's" house, shaking her head in disgust at the latest, in a series of, unfortunate "margene" mistakes.

now fast fast forward to yesterday: mommy's doing a load of whites when, to her dismay, she discovers boy #2 had left gum in a pocket, which had then melted all over the inside of the dryer. flashing on that stupid "margene" moment of "big love", mommy races for the "goo gone", sprays a little inside, and hopes to god she can get this shit cleaned up quickly, as she has about 19 more loads of laundry to do. according to "goo gone" directions, you must "wipe" the gooey mess you're trying to clean up with a white cloth (why? i guess so you can see that you've gotten the gooey mess off the surface you're cleaning and onto that white cloth. perhaps gooey messes don't show up on colored rags. how the hell should i know?). mommy sorted through her rags until she found a white one, which she used to wipe up the goo. which was, indeed, "going going gone" from the inside of the dryer. then she used another white cloth to wash out the inside of the dryer with soap and water. which made another mess. so she used white paper towels to rinse out that mess, and another hand full to dry up that mess. then she put in a 3rd clean white rag into the dryer and turned it on, in order to soak up any and all "goo gone" and/or gooey mess and/or soap and/or water. mommy hates cleaning. needless to say, this was not a fun task for her, tho' she was pleased by the fact that there are no more gooey messes and/or soap and/or water and/or "goo gone" in her dryer. unfortunately, all this cleaning left mommy too exhausted to finish the actual laundry. mommy doesn't care. she thinks anyone stupid thoughtless forgetful enough to leave gum in a pocket deserves might have to wear dirty/stinky slightly soiled clothes for a day or so.  okay, she doesn't really think that, but she's not ready to shift back into tedious "fluff 'n fold" mode any time soon. basically, mommy's just lazy, and is, in fact, ever hopeful someone, anyone, will someday come up with a product called "laundry gone". or is that what trash cans are for?

hmmmm...did i say this weekend was headed towards "yawnsville"? apparently that was a lie from the pits of hell, because i just realized we live there! that said, bobo, max & i did have a wee bit o' fun frolicking fesitvely in the front yard this morning, as evidenced by the following pictures, but, trust me, as far as i can tell, that's as good as it's gonna get:

my advice to you? run! run! as if your very life depended upon your ability to flee the rapidly declining energy of this blog. run! before it has you firmly within it's boring/lethargic clutches, from which there will be no escape! run! before you get hit with a massive dose of "energy gone". run! i tell you, run! unless, of course, you like to be bored and/or lazy, in which case, have a seat. the group nap begins in about 5 minutes.

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't." ~ Dagwood Bumstead

frolicking schmolicking....

i cannot freaking believe i've been trying ALL day to do a freaking post. not that i really have any-freakin'-thing worthwhile to say, i just thought it might be nice to put up a few freakin' cute pictures of me 'n bobo 'n max (of course, since stupid max is so freaking camera shy, getting pictures of him is always a crap shoot.). UNFORTUNATELY, stupid-freaking typepad has been none too cooperative, and, alas, i can't freaking get anything new up today. gosh i feel so bad. it's been two freakin' days since i had a new post... not that anyone's noticed. and, for chrissake, what the freak is up with that? was it something i said? something i didn't say? if i keep asking myself stupid questions, will i come up with some stupid answers? crap. now i not only feel bad, i feel stupid AND abandoned. i bet if i had posted pictures, someone would have seen them and thought how pretty i was, or how cute bobo was or how stupid max looks with his freaking butt sticking up in the air as he ran away from the camera. but noooo. now no one's gonna see those pictures or see how pretty the house looks now that the trees are in bloom. oh well. somedays ya feel like makin' a post, and somedays, typepad shoves your post up your freakin' ass.

 

"You know gang, when you're a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world in the shark-infested waters of true-to-life living. Or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can't know, can you? No. You gotta ride that wave, you gotta suck that lozenge. 'Cause if you don't, who will?" ~ The Tick (Animated TV Series)

joy!

this day is all about the joy, kids. the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and for this moment in time... all is right in my little universe. i have no idea what tomorrow's gonna bring...but, guess what? i don't care. as far as i'm concerned, the only thing that counts is the fact that, right now, i am totally feelin' the joyjoyjoy of this day!

here's a peek at how bobo and i got to spend a portion of the day. oh, and in case you're wondering, max still doesn't feel very well after having his teeth cleaned, so he just kind of stood around doin' a lot of nothin'. you know, he gets on my nerves a lot of the time, but, i must confess, i don't like it when he's under the weather. it takes all the fun out of bitchin' at him. damn him anyway. gettin' his teeth cleaned and feelin' crummy and tryin' to rain on my joyful parade. but, i digress...hard to feel and/or spread the joy when i'm griping about max, right? right. so we shall have no more of that! from here on out? it's all about the joy...

bobo surveys his territory...  he needs to make sure those scary hawks aren't gonna rain and/or shit on his parade!...

nice butt, bobo.

i ask you, is that the face of joy, or what?

bobo, i love ya, but slow down, dammit, these chubby little legs can only go so fast, ya know?

ruh roh---what's that?

aieeeee! the hawk! the hawk! the hawkman cometh!!

stupid hawk. showing off and scaring little bobo...

think you're so tough mr. hawky-tonk bird? why doncha come down here and pick on someone my size...heh heh

yeah...that's what i thought, mr. hawk-like-an-egyptian, all squawk and no talon. or, did ya just decide to follow our lead, take a chill pill and allow yourself to bask in all this joy? whatever... you made the right decision. besides, you know what they say, don't you? "life is short, and then you fly."  HAHAHAHAHA!! (can't help it, in my head, that was hilarious.)

"There is no time like the pleasant." ~ Oliver Herford

what we...

...didn't get to do today

we didn't get to rock...

we didn't get to roll...

we didn't get to run...

...and we didn't get to climb one single tree! (like we did last week)

you know...i'd say "phooey on rainy days!", except for the fact that everything is becoming so doggone beautiful outside because of the rain. so, we'll wait until the sun comes back out--then out is exactly where we shall go! i should note, however, that we did go to the vet today, in order to get our requisite amount of pokes/prods/shots... and we all left with clean bills of health. (i thought you'd be happy to know the day was not a complete loss!)

"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful." ~e.e. cummings

puppies on the run...

ever have one of those days? yeah, me too. fortunately, this is not one of 'em! (hee hee!) or maybe it is and i'm just too dumb to know it. whatever. the sun is shining--it's been glorious outside all day, and everything is well in my universe. should i be concerned? perhaps. but, guess what? i'm not.

i suppose i could say more about nothin' in particular, but, honestly? i don't want to hog the limelight at the moment (unlike every other day, when i most, decidedly, do)... instead, i think i'll just toss up a couple of pictures of me, bobo, and max havin' our usual dose of saturday "festive fun" frolicking in--where else--the front yard, and leave it at that! besides, daddy has a kick-ass response to the silly meme challenge i gave him yesterday, so i'm thinkin' you should meander over to Bobo Banjoey and load up on some useless/entertaining info on the fam. (oh those people... can't live with 'em, can't get greenies without 'em!)

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think.   Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.  ~A.A. Milne

phooey...

i don't want to make a big-ass deal out of the fact that mother nature, whore that she is, has decided to wreak havoc on us again this weekend, so i won't. i'm not gonna talk about the hail that came plinking out of the sky, and on top of poor little bobo's head, last night, either. (it's really his fault, since he had elected to stay out and bark at whatever the hell it is he barks at after everyone else came in, but still...it scared him). nor will i bitch, moan, and/or otherwise complain about the fact that today, the 8th of april, it's a raw 37-f*cking degrees outside.

the reason i'm not gonna talk about this stuff is... i don't want to. now, don't get me wrong! i'm pissed, alright, but after seeing what's been going on in the rest of the country, weather-wise? i've decided we really have it pretty good around here. i'm guessing that's because mother-of-girls-and-weather-gone-wild-nature remembers a certain gigantic can of whoop-ass in the possession of a certain raven-haired tibetan terrier, and is, therefore, afraid to mix it up too much. whatever.

that said, it's still not great outside today. it's wet. it's soggy. it's cold. so we're stuck inside. fortunately, we had two (count 'em 2) days out last week, so i thought i'd let ya see what fun we could be having if we were, in fact, able to get out. then, for added fun, i'm gonna show these to bobo, too, just to watch him pout... oh, i know, it's not the same as having a fun, festive frolic in the front yard, but at least i'll be entertained!

and that's all she wrote, folks! now, if you'll excuse me, i have a bobo to torment...and an afternoon nap to take (in that order)...

If there comes a little thaw,
Still the air is chill and raw,
Here and there a patch of snow,
Dirtier than the ground below,
Dribbles down a marshy flood;
Ankle-deep you stick in mud

In the meadows while you sing,

"This is Spring."

~ Christopher Pearce Cranch, A Spring Growl

i pity the fool...

...who thought i could get away without doing a post today. actually, guess i should clarify a bit here... cuz the "fool" i'm referring to, of course, is me. ya see, i was sure no one would notice/care about the lack of new material, especially since daddy wasn't exactly tap-tap-tapping away on his keyboard, either. (in my head i even imagined readers would stop by, see nothin' new, and think "oh that's so sweet! sophie's mommy & daddy are probably off somewhere doing something fun instead of hanging around like pitiful boring beanbags in front of their big-screen tv. what a nice/happy/busy family they are! gosh, we miss sophie, but it sure is nice to know her mommy & daddy care about each other enough to forego blogging for one stupid day. kudos to them... what great role models they are to the rest of us..."

i confess i even got a little misty eyed thinking about the perceptions some of you might have had about the fam. but then what happened? i'll tell you what happened... daddy had to get all smarty pants on me and come up with a few clever worms this afternoon. stupid daddy. writing shit 'n forcing me to do the same. well, i've got a surprise for you, daddy (if that's your real name) i'm not gonna write a bunch of worms! that's right. instead, i'm gonna show off the fun we all had frolicking in the front yard this morning, when we really were a happy family... before you shamed me into sitting in front of a computer screen for hours on end trying to come up with something...anything. (okay, and before that stinking whore mother-nature opened up the heavens and rained all over our poorly planned parade. mind you, i have no idea what that means... but anyone who knows me knows i like a little alliteration, and "poorly planned parade" definitely qualifies as a little alliteration. very little. but, very alliterate!)... anyway, here ya go. pictures of us havin' a whole lotta funfunfun!!

hahahaha! you should have seen the looks on all your faces! that was so funny! 'cuz you all thought you were gonna see pictures of us playing! and instead i showed you stupid pictures of us all in various stages of napping! isn't that hilarious??? no? you didn't think this was a funny april fools joke? gulp. well sor-reeee. (yeesh... i was just kidding...what do i know about humor, for chrissake? hello? i'm a dog...remember?)

fine, have it your way (ya big takin'-lessons-from-girlie-dog-max babies, you)...here are a few (very few) pictures of us romping in the front yard this morning (for we really did do that for a tick or two before it started to rain). but only a few... after all, it is saturday, and well, we do have a life (of sorts)... enjoy!

here i come, ready or not!

damn that feels good!!!

now if i can just get that spot on my nose...

bobo's lookin' for trouble... or not.

max: looks good/smells bad (sometimes)! hee hee

behold bobo in all his glory!

look what i can do! (bet ya can't cover your nose with your tongue!)

seen enough? happy now? good... me too!

"I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." ~ Jack Handey