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23 July 2006


Miz BoheMia

Shewm! This one could easily fly over my head but it being a lesson I need to master I understand the concept but am I there yet? Ha, ha, ha, haaaa! Now THAT would be a funny thing to believe!

My Tibetan monk friend, Lama Chonam, once sent me a book by His Holiness the Dalai Lama on the subject of anger. An entire book on this one concept and yeah, I am sure that this one was written for idiots meaning that I could understand it because the man's other work? My god I would need to attend heavy duty courses to just beging to grasp several concepts in the book, forget the book itself!

You have such a knack, my dear Neva, at picking out such brilliant and amazing quotes! This one ties right in to so many previous ones brought up with regards to illusion, letting go of this attachment to the illusory self and the like... just brilliant and man what a lesson to master!

Oh! If I may ramble on a little more (sorry about that!) it reminds me of an actual conversation I once had with Lama Chonam back when I was a lost and angry 20 year old girl...

Me: OK. So how would you, as a monk, explain anger and forgiveness to me and help me put it all in a certain perspective because I simply don't get it.

LC: Well, you know that when you are in school, to get better at something, you need to take tests and pass these tests. In life, you need tests too only that your loved ones will not give you these tests no, as many times they are hard. Those we call our enemies give us these opportunities, these tests and therefore these chances for us to see whether we have changed, learned our lessons and the like. Therefore, we are grateful to these so-called-enemies as they have done us a service by freely providing us with these tests we so desperately need.

Very simply put but man is it hard to master!

And with that I say WOOH! I... AM... FIRST!!!!

May you wake up to a beautiful Sunday and may what's left of your weekend be nothing other than peaceful and simply amazing my dear Neva! All my love to you you wise and brilliant woman!

Ok! Promise I am done now!


Such a hard lesson to learn and apply...our first reaction is always the "what about me" response. The amazing thing is when you look back at those events, issues in life that seem so confrontational, so personal at the almost always find the greater meaning and context...the reasons why...the greater good...oh that we could remember that at the flashpoint of anger or defensiveness. Another thought provoking quote babe and another beautiful depiction of the great and wise BoBo. I love the way, have loved being home with you these past few days. Definitely habit forming.


Miz B:to have had such a conversation at 20 must have been beyond mind-blowing... here i am at 50+, and i still struggle to understand this kind of simple wisdom. but his explanation to you was beautiful, and it seems clear to me you've managed to glean a great deal from his words, maybe more than you even realize!

one of the principles in The Four Agreements is "Don't take anything Personally" and i, for one, think that applies most in moments of conflict. anger keeps us from seeing the forest through the trees. stepping back to examine the root of the conflict requires compassion and patience, 2 things i find myself lacking more on some days than others (this past week with my youngest son would be an excellent example). even globally, it's a concept that deserves consideration... resolution only happens when anger is set aside. i really believe that.

i hope your day is going well... and is full of love and joy--for surely those are the things you bring into my life, which is why i love you so much!! bless you, beautiful BoheMian!! xoxo

honey: you are the one who epitomizes this philosophy... oh you can say you struggle with it, but sometimes i am amazed and in awe of your ability to stop, step back, and consider the whole/bigger picture. in a past life, i suspect you may have been a Dalai lama yourself... for you are wise well beyond your years!

as for this extended time together? no one appreciates it more that i do, honey. any extra minute with you is a gift i cherish. that said, being the selfish person i am, i find myself feeling greedy, and hoping for more minutes/days with you, and think it would be very nice if you could bottle all that wisdom and sell it on e-bay so we could be rich beyond our dreams and spend every minute of every day together! (except when you're watching the Dodgers lose... then i'll happily stay out of the way!)

I ADORE YOU!! xoxoxo


Maybe someday I can learn all of these lessons. Until them, I live as a mere mortal, neither dog nor god...

good girl

I like that quote so much. It really is a difficult lesson. Casting anger aside and not reacting from it is always a tall order. Even when one stops being angry, sometimes, it's hard to forgive. I always think I have forgiven when the truth is, I just can't be bothered anymore because I'm tired of the energy drain. The hardest thing then is when someone demands, yes, demands, that you forgive them and to show it. Wise quote but hard lesson.

But if I look like Bobo, I would be too handsome to care ;)

GG x


This assumes, of course, that I am not the truth.


Doug - or that there ever is a fixed truth...

hmmm The Dali Bobo - always something to ponder. The truth is whenever I am angry and settle down, I can always see the other person's side in the case - usually I can argue it for them. That is why to err is human and to forgive divine. Does take some practice because as humans we are so vested in our own feelings.


schnoodlepooh: you and me both, girlfriend! xox

GG: yeah... it's not easy to separate our thoughts from our emotions, especially when anger is involved. like you, i've been known to "forgive" when in fact, it's more a matter of energy drain. as for someone demanding forgiveness? i'm quite certain forgiveness, like respect, can only be earned. xox

Doug: if you were the truth, anger would never be an issue. (i think) xox

g: which is why most of us are our own worst enemy. joel's a lot like you, in that he can step back in order to see the bigger picture and gain better perspective. it really pisses me off, too. it seems that, if he really loved me, he'd let ME figure things out first in order to look like the smart one, but noooooo. he's always got to be the one to "see" the truth and explain it to me so i can feel that much more stupid... i hate that! xoxo


While I would love to strive for truth, sometimes anger fuels it

Assuming of course Doug isn't truth--which would bring it into a realm I don't dare go


That's a good quote! I agree with what's already been said--'tis hard to be objective. Wise words, indeed.


Wise Budda. Wise Bobo. Wiseass Neva. AND wise too. :) Who loves ya girlfriend!


Neva: It's good to be here. I agree that the quotation is thought provoking, but can there be a truth apart from I is a question I have, one not quite the same as Doug's "Can I not be the truth?"
Thanks for discovering "The Pansi Files" and the novella.


That's horrible punctuation. As a former English instructor, I have to correct it: "Can there be a truth apart from 'I'?" is my question.


"I really didn't say everything I said" ~Yogi Berra

and that's why you haven't seen me or is it...

tee, hee!


great photo and a great lesson!


Wow. That's a really thought-provoking quote.

I'm going to keep that one handy.


pia: wait... so you're saying doug is not the truth? whoa... that really pisses me off. xox

actonbell: thank you! wise words, indeed, tho' sometimes hard to keep in mind! xox

Sar: Buddha/Bobo... a wiseass by any other name! xox

Mrs. Weirsdo: oh thank YOU for stopping by! and i loveloveloved Pansi and (so far) the Novella! you are nothing short of brilliant! and if you *are* the truth (and aren't we all) then you (we) know it and nothing else should matter. hence, no need for anger. at least i think that's how it works. but, i'm not sure i'm feelin' the truth today, so...y'know, i could be wrong. xox

Karen: if you didn't say it, i didn't hear it. (or did i?) hee hee! xox

lisa: why thank you! wish i could take credit for the wisdom... or the picture, for that matter! xox

Risible Girl: HELLO girlfriend! good to see YOU!! and, agreed, this quote is definitely good to keep around (i know i could have used it last week...) xox


Thank you. I didn't mean the egotistical "I am the truth," but the more sophisticated (I hope) doubt that truth can transcend the human in such a way that it parts company with us. But looking and thinking again, I do agree that anger puts something constructed by us ahead of the ethical relation that should, I believe, found truth, even if some violation of ethics helped rouse the anger.

Miz BoheMia

You know, one more thing, meaning I am back cause I miss you and well, because mayybe I have something to say (ha, ha, haa! Laugh I at the preposterous notions bohemians have!) which is this...

... easy for Buddha to say! He had no kids, especially two psycho and nutty ones, home for the summer and neither did he have a job! Otherwise I am sure Buddhism would be quite the different thang!

I wanna be a nun... decided. Fo sho! You wanna come with? ;-P Hope you are having a great week my dearest Neva! Many kisses to you my lovely friend and I may be catching you at home some day soon! Besos!


Miz BoheMia

Wait! Scratch the nun thing. Abstaining from, well, delightful activities is something I have no desire to do.

For shame indeed! Meow! ;-)


Neva, if I were the truth, starvation would never be an issue.

Weirsdo, if the truth can't transcend the human then where is the wisdom in relativism?


Mrs. Weirsdo: when anger comes into play, we cease to see the truth. actually, we cease to seek the truth. which is why we *all* need to learn how to stop taking things personally... something i honestly work on all the time. when i'm able to take my own feelings out of the equation, i find most conflicts are easy to solve. xox

Miz B: well, yeah... Buddha and psychologists, right? it's always easy to talk about holding back on anger when you're not the one having to deal with a young(ish) one in the midst of a temper tantrum! as for becoming a nun? uh... i'm not seein' it. for either one of us. (meow? heh heh, girlfriend, i'm thinking purrrrrr...) besos back at ya, lovely one! xox

Doug: no starvation for those of us hungry for the truth? or tacos? xox


...mmmm tacos


honey: ummm-hmmm.... i'm craving 'em too! (and *that's* the truth!) xoxox


Have a great weekend!


when one feels anger, it really helps to count to 100. just sayin', i don't want to go over the head of Buddha or the Dalai Lama


Brian: thanks! hope you're havin' a great weekend, as well! xox

karma: i think what you're saying is completely in line with the Buddha... counting to 100 helps curb the anger, which means it's easier to see the truth! (brilliant woman that you are... you knew this already!) i think the other way to curb anger (mine, at least) would be a good Thai foot massage. it's very hard to stay angry when you have happy feet! xox


I really appreciate this quote today. I'm about to do something where remembering this quote will be very important. Thanks!


Pavel: you're welcome... i'm so glad it helps! i really like it and try to remember it, myself. hope everything is okay and/or works out well for you...(should we be worried?) xox

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