no one is more sympathetic than me. really. especially when the person requiring aforementioned sympathy is mommy. that said, i'm forever happy she's finally on the mend -- because that means life will finally--gloriously!-- return to some semblance of normalcy. mind you, in this house that's not saying a hell of a lot, but still...
now, if i know you, and i think i do, i'm sure you've been wondering what a sweet little puppy girl, such as myself, does when her mommy is reduced to a pathetic mass of coughing aching play-doh, right? well, here it is: i sit with her, and follow her from bed to couch to bathroom to bed to kitchen to couch, watch her sleep, take naps, and, when possible, try to make the most out of a pissy/hideously boring situation. naturally, i also spend a shitload of time watching everything/everyone around me. mommy, the boys, my treats, max, bobo, and all the crappy stuff mommy watches on tv when she's not sleeping. thus far, here's what i've learned:
1. mommy is not teribly attractive when she's sick. oh, daddy seems to think she's cute, but, for the life of me, i can't imagine why. maybe daddy needs new glasses.
2. speaking of glasses... mommy's got new contact lenses, which means she can see distant things ever so much better, but now everything up close is a fucking blur. this does not make mommy happy. not one little bit. especially since she now has to wear reading glasses just to see the computer screen and/or keyboard.
mommy says this is one of the most fucking insidious aspects of growing older, and i believe her! (who else am i gonna believe? you? i think not... for all i know, you have perfect vision and wouldn't know a pair of reading glasses if they smacked you in the face, which is what happens on a regular basis these days to mommy, what with that new prescription for her contact lenses, and all...)
3. bette davis made a lot of bad movies in her youth. okay, maybe not american pie 2 bad, but seriously not good. mommy loves old movies, she really does. 
so she watched a lot of stuff on TCM, while laying around on the couch. but not all "old" movies were created equal, and, apparently, bette davis had to star in many of the truly rank ones. of course, maybe we just saw a bunch of her bad films because TCM is paying tribute to her all this month, but it doesn't matter. some of the very early films that featured bette davis totally sucked ass. (most of the really bad ones were made when she was blonde, if that matters, which, of course, it does not.)
4. speaking of old, bad movies, alan hale (aka "skipper" in gilligan's island) was in every old, bad movie ever made. or at least the ones we watched this week. who knew?
5. daddy's romantic ways always manage to improve mommy's most foul of moods. 
no more was this fact apparent than yesterday, when, on top of the lovely flowers 'n stuff daddy gave her for mother's day, a box, addressed to mommy & marked with "m&m" arrived, which, when opened, yielded several lovely packets of blue and yellow m&m's with "I Love Neva" imprinted on each and every piece of candy. is that romantic, or what? my question is this: will daddy still love mommy after she's polished off these packages of yummy treats? stay tuned, at the rate she's going, we should have the answer fairly soon!
6. max barks non-stop. day-in and day-out. it wears on one's nerves...
7. laundry does not do itself.
8. as long as there are 3 dogs, 2 big boys, and 1 old cat in this house, mommy's not allowed to sit and/or lay still for more than 48.4 seconds before someone needs something. as far as i can tell, this is the law.
9. daddy's "tussin" doesn't get mommy high and/or help her sleep. much to mommy's chagrin and/or disappointment.
10. the phone rings a lot more when mommy's voice is veryvery hoarse. like it knows she can't talk. it's almost frightening. but, mostly? it's just plain hilarious. not only that, but when mommy is at her absolute worst (looking and sounding), people requiring attention always come to the door in rapid succession, and mommy is always the only one around to A) answer the door, B) attend to these various individuals C) scare the shit out of them because she looks and sounds just that bad. (naturally, this is also hilarious!)
11. max barks all the time. day-in and day-out. i know i've said this before, but, trust me, it bears repeating, because it's just that fucking annoying.
so, there you have it. everything i managed to glean (and can recall) after hanging around and/or observing 4 long, boring days in the life of the very sick, very pathetic mommy, in all her flu-ridden misery. as you no doubt suspected, it's been a veritable roller coaster of non-stop mucus-hacking, head-and/or-body-aching, sleep-deprived fun! and yet... in spite of it all, she not only managed to get better, but lives to hack through another day. not sure we'll be able to say the same of max if he doesn't start barking up a different.... something. hmmmm. ya know? i had a clever ending for that line, but, what with the barking and the phone and the people at the door and the fact that i find all this sublimely boring, it just flu flew out of what's left of my mind. how's that for a mysterious non-hilarious-post-ending pisser?
"If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience." ~Robert Fulghum
I'm so glad you're on the road to recovery sweetie...hate it when you feel bad. For the record, sick or no you are a cutey whether you feel like it or not. I totally empathize with the glasses thing...wherever I go now so also go the reading glasses...very annoying. As for Max, still thinking puppy prozac may be in his future. Keep waiting for him to lose his voice...but alas...
Anyway...love you babe...glad it's the weekend.
Posted by: joel | 20 May 2006 at 12:47 AM
Glad to hear you are on the mend although... ay... to go through the flu is simply no picnic!
Here's to much and well deserved healin' rest! Enjoy the weekend at home with your sweet fam! Bohemians everywhere are sending you get-well-soon vibes fo sho!
Kisses to one oh-so-lovely Neva!
Posted by: Miz BoheMia | 20 May 2006 at 02:28 AM
I sure hope you are feeling better -- being sick just plain sucks.
I am writing press releases today - waaaaa.
I liked Bette Davis -- especially in Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte, an the other movie she was in with Joan Crawford where she served Joan a dead parrot for dinner:) muahahahhahaha -- Whatever Happened to Baby Jane! That's it!!
Feel better sweetie!
Posted by: Myspinonthings | 20 May 2006 at 11:40 AM
Oh Neva... that sounds terrible. Mathilda barks a lot .... drives me insane. When I got sick I had both of my dogs at/under/around/on my feet at all times of the day. its amazing how devoted they are. I hope that you are getting back to life as you know and love it... and isn't it just a bitch that laundry does NOT do its self.
:) cj
Posted by: cj | 20 May 2006 at 11:57 AM
"some of the very early films that featured bette davis totally sucked ass"
ALL movie reviews should be this honest and succinct!
Posted by: TDB | 20 May 2006 at 09:48 PM
Honey: thank you for loving me at my worst... and it's too bad the only one who lost a voice around here was me! (okay, at least i think it's a shame my voice is gone!)
thank you for taking such good care of me, and for caring for me always!
lovelovelove you!!!
xoxoxoxo
Miz B: thank you so much! i am indeed better... and glad to be so! hope your weekend is a happy, restful respite for you and yours, as well! and manymany kisses to you, too! XOXOXO
My Spin: so this is a working weekend? that my friend, is not how it's supposed to work!
i, too, am a fan of bette davis, especially the 2 films you mentioned... most especially "all about eve" (she was fabulous in that one)... but her earlier stuff, whoa, pure suckage. surprising, i know, but there it is!
try to have some fun this weekend! : D
CJ: so you understand the non-stop barking dog thing? i'm so sorry! i can't even begin to imagine what it's like when added into the vocal demands of 2 young kids! aieeee!
and it really is a shame laundry can't do itself. of course, maybe we're just placing too high a value on clean clothes, huh? hee hee! : D
TDB: it's not hard to be succinct when there are so many sucky movies to critique! tho' i confess i was a bit surprised by the amount of bad flims made back in the 30's & 40's! honestly, i've always thought the crappy films out these days were due, in part, to the fact that all the really good ideas had been used up "way back when... A) stars were stars. B) studios cared about audiences. C) fine writers, like f. scott fitzgerald, helped create movie scripts, meaning the stories must be amazing. D) any and/or all of the above! clearly (sadly) that's not the case! : D
Posted by: neva | 20 May 2006 at 11:12 PM
Wow. Puppy sure has got a potty mouth! :)
Posted by: Kate | 21 May 2006 at 02:14 AM
I agree with Spin on those Bette Davis movies. I also liked Jessabelle (sp? too lazy to look it up!)
Glad you're on the mend. I hate those kinds of colds. OK, I hate ALL colds.
Posted by: RisibleGirl | 21 May 2006 at 10:36 AM