puppytoes

dalai bobo's...

~thought for the week~

“Do not think of how big the universe is, it will merely hurt your head." ~ Buddha

joy!

this day is all about the joy, kids. the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and for this moment in time... all is right in my little universe. i have no idea what tomorrow's gonna bring...but, guess what? i don't care. as far as i'm concerned, the only thing that counts is the fact that, right now, i am totally feelin' the joyjoyjoy of this day!

here's a peek at how bobo and i got to spend a portion of the day. oh, and in case you're wondering, max still doesn't feel very well after having his teeth cleaned, so he just kind of stood around doin' a lot of nothin'. you know, he gets on my nerves a lot of the time, but, i must confess, i don't like it when he's under the weather. it takes all the fun out of bitchin' at him. damn him anyway. gettin' his teeth cleaned and feelin' crummy and tryin' to rain on my joyful parade. but, i digress...hard to feel and/or spread the joy when i'm griping about max, right? right. so we shall have no more of that! from here on out? it's all about the joy...

bobo surveys his territory...  he needs to make sure those scary hawks aren't gonna rain and/or shit on his parade!...

nice butt, bobo.

i ask you, is that the face of joy, or what?

bobo, i love ya, but slow down, dammit, these chubby little legs can only go so fast, ya know?

ruh roh---what's that?

aieeeee! the hawk! the hawk! the hawkman cometh!!

stupid hawk. showing off and scaring little bobo...

think you're so tough mr. hawky-tonk bird? why doncha come down here and pick on someone my size...heh heh

yeah...that's what i thought, mr. hawk-like-an-egyptian, all squawk and no talon. or, did ya just decide to follow our lead, take a chill pill and allow yourself to bask in all this joy? whatever... you made the right decision. besides, you know what they say, don't you? "life is short, and then you fly."  HAHAHAHAHA!! (can't help it, in my head, that was hilarious.)

"There is no time like the pleasant." ~ Oliver Herford

fun facts?

you want fun facts? i got yer fun facts right here, buddy. know what to write about when the sun is shining gloriously and spring is in full bloom? i'll tell ya. nothing! that's right, NOTHING! it's not that i'm not inspired, mind you, it's just that i'm much more interested in spending time out doors than agonizing over a few well chosen worms for the purposes of creating another post. i hope you understand. i really do. if you're bored, here's a little "easy" (a term i use loosely) listening for ya, as you're whiling away the hours on your own bad pc. as for me? i'm already out the door. [warning: if you love music, you might want to keep the volume down]

wing: this woman was featured on an especially funny episode of south park last season. mommy & daddy (and the boy, for that matter) thought "wing" was a made up character.  turns out, she was not. in fact, wing played herself in that episode, which, coincidentally, was about american idol. (heck, wing would probably do pretty freaking well in the show this year, come to think of it!)  here's how she introduces herself on her website:

"Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along. I released my first CD Phantom Of The Opera and got a grant from the Manukau City Council for promotion. Then I released I Could Have Danced All Night and The Sound Of Music. My latest CDs are called "Wing Sings AC/DC", "Dancing Queen by Wing" and "Beatles Classics by Wing". I have worked hard and I hope you have all found I am improving. Thank you for all who supporst me helping me very much as I go along. Thank you!" ~ Wing

mommy highly recommends "i wanna hold your hand".

horrible chinese singer: this says it all. watch the whole thing. because it's just that bad/funny. (by the way, i stole this from sweetney.com, who is always an excellent source for great/unique links and wonderfully witty writing.)

of course, i'd like to be perfectly clear about something right here and right now. i do not condone making fun of people. and, normally i wouldn't. but... the sun! the sun is shining outside, and spring is in all its glory and, well, linking to horrible-awful-terrible-no-good-very-bad and, dare it say it? (i dare! i dare!) chitty performers beats a sharp stick in the eye, right? besides... these two self-proclaimed vocal stylists actually make this year's unremarkable (with few exceptions) batch of idol contestants look and/or sound super fantasticamazing. so, i'm thinkin' that's gotta be good for something. (but then, i'm just a puppy. what the hell do i know?)

"Yet, what are all such gaieties to me whose thoughts are full of indices and surds?" ~ Lewis Carroll

kellie kellie kellie kellie....

as i've said manymany times, young kellie pickler is cute as a button on a hello kitty cardigan, and yet, as the weeks wore on, despite her abundant cuteness, her lack of actual vocal talent has become more and more apparent. i take no pleasure in this, believe you me. mommy was ever so hopeful ms. pickler would rise to the vocal challenges lobbed over her head week after week, overcome the whorish makeup and/or over-bleached hair thing, and land on those platform shoes with more than garishly abundant baby blue eyeshadow to show for her efforts. obviously, that didn't happen, and the north carolina cutie has been unceremoniously kicked to the curb. so what the hell went wrong? hmmmm... let me count the ways this show's gone wrong all season:

1. too many f*cking coaches do not a good singer make. this year, the producers of idol apparently decided to make someone other than those fresh faced idol-wannabes the focus of the show, i.e. actual celebrities. mind you, there's nothing wrong with having a celebrity appearance to spice things up, but this year it's ALL about the the stars.

"Tonite, on American Idol... a super special appearance by super sensational (celebrity guest name)!! and! to add to the super specialness of having (celebrity guest name), Simon and/or Paula and/or Randy will bitch slap the shit out of each other and/or Ryan Seacrest, who may, in turn, bitch slap Simon and/or Paula, and/or Randy, and, for good measure (celebrity guest name). Ladies and Gentlemen...it's a night that promises to be super fantastic. oh. and the contestants will try to sing a bunch of boring songs after being coached by (celebrity guest name), in an effort to get them to stop sounding like themselves! shake up their fragile egos! and, give Simon, Paula and/or Randy an opportunity to bitch slap each other and/or the contestants for sounding super shitty!!"

2. those goddamn so-called stylists. seriously. where in the f*ck did these people learn how style? Frederick's of Hollywood?

first these ass-wipes pitch a striped tent around poor, magnificent mandissa; they grease up pretty-boy ace's hair to the point of major ewwww; they stick katharine in ill-fitting clingy jersey (panty lines and/or sneak peeks at actual panties are so not attractive, i don't care what anyone says); and then, they apply so much god-awful blue eyeshadow & mascara to kellie's eyes, it's a wonder she can keep 'em open for more than a second or two! nothing, and i mean nothing, says "cheap trailer trash" quite like glitter-blue eyeshadow. (i'm sure i read that in glamor or cosmo or dog fancy.)

3. paula, and her bizarre antics. seriously, what the f*ck? i swear, if i have to watch that train wreck's ridiculous hormone driven and/or drug induced antics one more week, i'm going out to hollywood and bitch slap her myself. she's a mess.

4. those bonehead "Brady Bunch" moments...otherwise known as the Ford Music Videos (a crummy commercial by any other name...). they're stupid. and they suck.

5. song selections. as i mentioned before, the contestants are being forced to choose songs one doubts would ever be in their respective repertoires otherwise. Queen? Stevie Wonder? Andrea Bocelli????? we're talking amazing music/musicians here, but does anyone in their right mind think any rank amateur can do justice to that caliber of music? no. no one in their right mind does. which can only mean one thing. the producers have lost their minds and are, in fact, f*cking idiots. you know, now that i think about it, maybe that's what the show should be called next year... F*cking American Idiots--it's perfect! not only does it work on a variety of levels, it's catchy! okay, maybe it's not terribly appropriate... but, hey, at least it's honest.

"I've had a wonderful evening -- but this wasn't it." ~ Groucho Marx

american't idol....

what does that mean? i have no idea. but idol sucks. so, you know... maybe ameri-can't and won't have an idol worth writin' home about this year. actually, mommy's sister, the veryverysmart dr. terri summed the show up rather succinctly when she said:

"it was unfortunate."

if ever-oh-ever someone hit the pathetic idol nail on the head, that was it. un-f*cking-fortunate. nevertheless, it's wednesday, and apparently that's when i give you my 2 cents' worth, as well, so, without further ado, here's my take on last night's song-o-rama:

too many song-o-wrongas. we're talkin' love songs here, and rather boring love songs, at that. and these amateurs were "coached" by the magnificant andrea bocelli, and his fabulous producer, david foster, and if that's not a humongous mind f*ck for the insecure singer, i don't know what is. that said, boring and/or poor performances aside, if there is a God, one of the girls will go home tonite (oh please oh please oh please)...

1. katharine: mommy's so glad simon told you that song was too big for you--because it was. in fact, mommy thought it was two sizes too big, not that you asked her, not that you care.

2. elliot: you were good. obviously. i mean, you made paula weep, didn't you? on the other hand, mommy did not weep. but she didn't laugh, either, which means you didn't suck. or stink. (mommy couldn't help but wonder if paula was actually weeping because she missed ace so much. poor paula. couldn't someone please just give her a mercy f*ck so she can get on with her life and viewers can be spared her bizarre antics? just wondering...) speaking of all things pathetic...

3. kellie: kellie kellie kellie your song was very smelly smelly smelly, the folks who made you sing that shit should go to hellie hellie hellie... because girl? you did stink.

4. taylor: stop listening to the stupid so-called coaches and be your own joe cocker-ish/spazztastic self, dude! you're all you have, and, mommy suspects, you're the one most folks want to see. she could be wron...no... she's not wrong. she's right. she's as right as rain. so, be yourself. and, f*ck anyone who tells you otherwise.

5. paris: nope. sorry. you're not barbra streisand, either. not no way, not no how. not know how to be any more clear on the fact that you really bug mommy.

6. chris: c... to the h... to the r...i...s! mommy reallyreally liked your song. and she thought laying on the floor to get in touch with your inner diaphram was about the only good piece of advice anyone got last night.

hmmm... after watching house, guess what? we all discovered there is, in fact, a god afterall! and! not only is there a god, his name is house. (i told ya so) isn't it nice the way the show's storylines and/or my bullshit bloggery managed to come full circle like that? yes. i knew you'd be pleased. and, you know what? i think god (and/or house), if there is a god (and/or house), must be pleased, as well. tho', not as pleased as i'll be when he (god and/or house) takes care of aforementioned female elimination tonite on american idol...

"Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat." ~ Julian Huxley

mommeme dearest...

this is one of thos days when i'd just as soon stick a walnut up my nose than write... but now that daddy's gone and posted something pretty dang funny, i guess i have to. write that is. because, of course, i'm never putting a walnut up my nose, and i can't believe you ever wanted me to.

for lack of anything actually interesting to report, i decided it might be fun to share a few more random tidbits about mommy. i also thought it might be fun to give this soon-to-be regular segment a catchy little name, and, clever girl that i am, i've come up with one. mommeme (mah-meem). get it? it's about mommy and, in blogspeak it'll sort of be a meme-ish bit of blahblahblah. mommeme. tell your friends. let's start a club.

okay. today's mommeme theme?

really stupid and/or random shit about mommy's youth:

1. she doesn't have wisdom teeth. they just aren't there. never were.

2. one rainy day, when she was around 10, she pogo-sticked 2,222 times before stopping. why? because she was A) bored, B) wanted to "pogo" a number she'd never forget. and she never has. (it's 2,222, for chrissake, a moron would remember that) and C) a moron.

3. she won a gold fish at a birthday party for a fellow first grader, and found out, the hard way, that you don't float gardenias in a fish bowl just because it looks "pretty".

4. when she was 15, she pierced her own ears. well, actually, her girlfriend did them for her, and put in thin pieces of thread, which mommy knew were not gonna keep the holes open, so she sat in front of a mirror and worked the needle back and forth (it took a couple of hours) until the "deed" was done. armed with her new found "skill", not to mention ice cubes, a thick needle and a potato and/or a piece of cork, mommy started piercing her friends' ears, too. also, her mother's. and her sister's (the veryveryverysmart dr. terri, who fainted, but i'm not supposed to tell that part).

5. as kids, mommy and aforementioned sister were huge fans of superman comics. and archie. they also liked richie rich, but for them superman & archie ruled the day. the girls had a large collection they kept together in a wastebasket, which their mother donated to a church bazaar. these comics dated back around late 50's up through the 60's. there were several dozen comics, which, along with that stupid wastebasket, all sold for...a dime. mommy can't be sure, but some of these may (or may not) have been in that bunch, as well...

6. mommy was such a little bookworm, she once read her favorite book, kabumpo in oz, 3 times in one day. she was around 8 at the time. sometimes, she'd read it to her sister... when they got older and her sis had her wisdom teeth removed (and yes, hahaha, not only did terri get her wisdom teeth, she had all 4 removed on the same day--which was also the day before thanksgiving) mommy kept her sister company by reading from lord of the rings, another all time favorite.

7. mommy learned how to water ski when she was 7 (of course, her sister was 6, and better, because her sister was always a better athlete. but that's beside the point. mommy was 7 and that's not bad.)

8. when mommy was around 5 or 6, she and her sister got life sized dolls for christmas. life sized. mommy always thought that was pretty cool.

9. mommy and her sister could have been dancers. except for the fact that they couldn't/can't dance. their aunt, a professional ballerina in her own youth, had a dance studio, and both girls took lessons and danced their little hearts out in recitals, but they weren't very good. now they both dance in their own special way in their own respective kitchens, to the music in their heads. (and that's the way they like it.)

10. mommy and her little sister have been best friends all their lives. (of course, this last one isn't at all weird, random, and/or shitty, but i put it in because i noticed most of the other things i've listed include dr. terri, not to mention the fact that it rounds out my little mommeme rather nicely. also, i think mommy misses her sister. i could be wrong, but i don't think so. mommy loves the fact that, whenever they're together, they revert back to lots of the silliness they've shared since they were little girls. also, mommy likes to borrow her clothes. but mostly it's the acting like little girls/being silly/close sister thing...)

"A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost." ~ Marion C. Garretty

bada blechh...

because i started doing this a few weeks ago, i guess i have to talk about the stupid sopranos today. and the west wing. don't ask why. i just do. i'm weird that way.

however, before i get to that which i must do, i'd like to point out a little something to you kids. remember a few weeks ago, when i told you all that robin & company (on headline news) was the best morning news show, hands down? (not to be confused with the daily show which is, hands down, the best show on tv, period). anyway. apparently stephen king thinks so, too. so...um... er... uh...y'know, you should watch. cuz it's an excellent morning news show. and mommy, who knows her, happens to think rather highly of robin meade, as well.

okay, now for a few minor--albeit lame--highlights from the programs mommy & daddy forced themselves to watch last night...

west wing: mommy & daddy are now more upset than ever to know the show is going away--because, in their most humble of opinions, west wing seems to have returned to its original roots, and keeps getting better by the week. that, and they reallyreallyreally like jimmy smits (oh how they bitterly lamented his "death" on nypd blue) and think it would be ever-so-fun to watch him play president for a few seasons.

sopranos: bada bing, bada bang, bada...ben kingsley? and a freakin' bada belt-in-the-freakin'-chops to freakin' lauren bacall? color mommy freakin' bada bummed! (mostly because these bizarre guest shots just added unnecessary irrelevence to a show desperately struggling for relevence-of-any-kind. or, at least, a f*cking direction, for cryin' out loud!) with vito still off in new humpshire hampshire trying to stay alive/find himself/find himself a piece of ass (literally), mommy thought the best line of the night belonged to christopher (before his hollywood coke-snortin'-hooker-uh--er--hookin'-extravaganza): "We were just discussing La Cage au Fat". pretty good for a wise guy, eh? of course, mommy thinks that line also applies to tony, who's literally growing larger on screen, frame by the frame... maybe that's because so much of last night's story line involved restaurants. and eating. and tony eating in restaurants. and on his boat. maybe not, but ya gotta admit, it's food for thought! get it? "food" for thought?? hahahahaha! (can't help it, sometimes i crack myself up...)

"You don't shit where you eat. And you really don't shit where I eat." ~ Tony Soprano (The Sopranos)

dalai bobo's...

~ thought for the week ~ 

tho' the following words apply to us all, this week's "dalai bobo" quote is dedicated to you, dear JOM! i know it's hard, but try to breathe and relax as you prepare for tomorrow's "big" exam! and please, don't let fear and/or doubt distract you from the fact that you are ready! at the end of the day, a test is just a piece of paper sprinkled with questions. nothing more. we believe in you, Jom, and know with all our hearts that you can--and you will--do great!! remember: carpe diem!

"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky." ~ Buddha

what we...

...didn't get to do today

we didn't get to rock...

we didn't get to roll...

we didn't get to run...

...and we didn't get to climb one single tree! (like we did last week)

you know...i'd say "phooey on rainy days!", except for the fact that everything is becoming so doggone beautiful outside because of the rain. so, we'll wait until the sun comes back out--then out is exactly where we shall go! i should note, however, that we did go to the vet today, in order to get our requisite amount of pokes/prods/shots... and we all left with clean bills of health. (i thought you'd be happy to know the day was not a complete loss!)

"The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful." ~e.e. cummings

"semi-plagerized" friday fun...

okay, so check it out. i'm wracking my brains, trying to come up with something to share with you all today...and, after running around outside for a bit (since i believe that exercise = improved circulation = a smarter me!) i decided to come back in and stand on my head, in hopes the blood would rush in and fill my brain cells with an endless supply of grade-A noteworthy ideas. so, there i am, head on the floor, feet in the air, waiting for my mind to become awash with meaty topics and/or clever worms, when i realize i can just barely reach the computer keyboard. "cool" i think to myself, and i start clicking through a few of the blogs mommy likes to read. suddenly! i peruse something so lovely, so special...and so doggone romantic, i am compelled to share it.

and, fear not, good friends, for i am not side-stepping my bloggy duties, either (in case ya wondered) since, technically, this particular post qualifies in the "fun facts for friday" category, as you'll soon see. oh, maybe i didn't, technically, write these facts, per se, but, since they apply to my family, i'm pretty sure i can technically take credit for them (because that's just how i think and/or what i'm about to do!).

enjoy...i know i did!  (oh, and when you've finished, for godssake, don't hate mommy because she's married to someone like daddy... trust me, she knows she's a lucky lucky girl! and, besides, why would you hate her, anyway? huh? i mean, she wants you to be happy... can't you be glad she's happy, too?  what's up with that? since when is it wron.... wait...am i'm having another conversation with myself?  are you already over at daddy's blog? ...did you leave without saying "goodbye"? will you ever come back?)

"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware."  ~ Henry Miller